Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Just a vent


This is just a vent.  Just my feelings right now.  I have to get it out there before it drives me crazy.

Currently I am in 24/7 debilitating migraine pain.  I miss too much work.  And no one cares.  Well, when I say no one cares that’s not exactly true.  Of course my family cares.  And I have a few friends who probably care.  But, the people I think should care, don’t.  Not going to name names, but my boss is one of them.  Of course, he’s probably never had a migraine, so he doesn’t get it.  The thing I get the most is “take some Tylenol and get over it.”  Umm, ok…if only it were that easy.  Geesh, I should have tried that a long time ago.
Because I’m pregnant it makes things worse.  That’s where I feel like I’m being written off by my dr’s.  My PCP straight-up said there was nothing they would do for me.  The “headache specialist” I was referred to tried one thing that didn’t work and now won’t return my calls or answer my messages.  My OB does care, but she’s limited in what she can do.  I mean, she’s an OB.  I have tried acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, heat, cold, vicks, vaporizer, nasal spray, quiet rooms, sleep…all to no avail.  This headache won’t give up.  It’s determined to win.  And quite honestly…right now it is definitely winning. 
This isn’t living life.  This is barely struggling to get by.  It’s all I can do to get out of bed in the morning, work 9 hours, and go home.  It’s all I can do to manage to stay out of bed for 2-3 more hours until Lexi goes to bed.  I’m not the mom she deserves to have, and I’m not the wife my husband deserves to have.  At this point I don’t know where else to turn.
The fact that I’m pregnant throws a wrench in the system.  There’s only so much they can do for me until October. Then I can go back on my medicine and life will be good again.  But, October is a long ways away.  When you’re talking about 24/7 pain…that’s a long time.
I’m not lazy.  I am in pain.

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