Saturday, February 28, 2015

The poor me post

A little warning before we start...I have taken my ambien...so we may drift around a while.

Tonight I started feeling sick. Achey all over, really, tired, and freezing.  Which y'all know me...fat girls don't get cold!!!
So, I take my temp and get 99.1.  A little later 99.5 You see, Rex Allen is being treated for the flu right now.  He spent all day Thursday on my lap. Coughing on my face. So I really kinda knew I would probably get sick.  But I didn't really expect it to come on me so quickly.  I had been fine all day. And then this evening I just started feeling blah.  So if I get the flu, this will be the second time in less than a month that I have had it.  Last time it took me 5 full days in bed before I was ok to go to work.  Running a fever of 102 almost the whole time.

But it's not just this.  I haven't posted on facebook yet because I know what the comments will be.  
"You are sick all the time."
"Why do you get so sick all the time?
"I don't believe that you are really sick this much."
And of course there are the people who just straight up think I'm faking.

On one side I feel like I have earned those judgments. Because I am sick a lot.  I seem to have always something going on.  But what those people don't take the time to realize is that there is obviously something causing this.

I have done research after research on the link between PCOS and weakened immune systems.  They are starting to find the link there. 

Yes, I am sick a lot. No, I don't like it.  I absolutely HATE missing work...especially when I'm at a new job and my attendance is likely being closely monitored.

I have chronic migraines.  There were months when I didn't have 1 single non headache day.  I showed that to drs who didn't believe me.  I went to urgent cares that didn't believe me.  I've had MRI's and CAT Scans that look fine.  I've had botox that worked tremendously. I didn't pay all that money, and undergo all the testing and painful procedures just as my master plan to fake everyone out.

It hurts. It hurts me deeply when I know people don't believe me. It hurts when people make jokes and then say, "You know I believe you....I was just kidding." No, I don't believe that.  Because every joke comes from some truth.  It would be much better for you to be open and just say you think I'm a liar.

I do my very best to only post positive and uplifting things on my facebook. Mainly because I know there are people out there who are just waiting to attack any negativity I post. 
Here's the thing though.  When I'm sick...really sick....I complain a lot. I'm a whiner. I want everyone to know just how terrible I feel.  I don't want them to feel sorry for me...I just want them to know how I feel.  I will call my mom crying because I want her to come take care of me.  Even though I'm 31 years old with a husband and kids....no one can take care of me like my mom. 

I don't know where I'm trying to go with this.  You don't have to always believe me when I'm sick.  And you certainly don't have to fake like you do.  But for me, and others just like me, when you're already sick, or have a chronic condition, it is not helpful at all for people to comment about how I'm always sick.

Thank you for rambling through this with me.
http://justdanielleb.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-poor-me-post.html

1 comment:

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