Christmas Eve

Well, it's almost 1am and I'm laying here pretty much wide awake. 

Christmas snuck up on me once again this year, but I think we did better than last year. And next year I will aim to do better than this year.

Christmas growing up was always so amazing.  My mom worked her butt off to make sure we had a great Christmas every year. Even on the years when she told us that it wasn't going to be very good, it was always great. 

I remember last year being so sad when Christmas was over. I felt like we didn't do enough for Lexi, or anyone else. But this year I feel pretty good. I'm sure that will change by tomorrow night though.  Kristin (baby sister) and I were talking about it tonight. How we felt so bad because our gifts were always piled up under the tree as kids, but they seem so bare tonight. Our kids are young enough that they aren't going to remember much. And they definitely have lots of aunts and uncles who will be giving them gifts also. There was an article going around this week, written by a mom explaining why she buys a lot at Christmas, and I thought it summed up my feelings pretty well. Basically I don't buy my kids everything they want. They get special things on occasion, and they most certainly don't do without. But I have to say no a lot. I don't have the money to buy Lexi an ipad. I would love to have a huge swinger in my backyard, but it just can't happen right now. So, on the rare occasion that I get to go all out, then that's what I do.

I know it's more about the memories than anything. But I also know that Lexi is getting to an age where her friends are going to start talking and comparing gifts. And I never want her to feel left out!

Today we enjoyed the rare treat of being off work on a week day. We did a little last minute shopping, ate lunch, and took naps. Then we made cookies for Santa. I don't bake, lol. So I bought the pre-packaged dough. Lexi got to lay it out on the cookie sheets and then put sprinkles and m&m's on them. Tonight after bath time, Jacob told them about the night Jesus was born. Lexi wrote a note for Santa and put out his cookies and milk.

Tomorrow we will wake up and see what Santa brought! We always have lunch at my Grandma's on Christmas Day. There will be a few gifts there, but nothing major. My grandparents put money on a savings account for the kids on their birthdays and Christmas. Before we go we will have a discussion about thankfulness. Lexi is at an age where her personality and tastes are developing... and let's just say that she doesn't always have a lot of tact. She has always been good about saying please and thank you, but lately she makes it really obvious when she doesn't like something. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly nagging her, but we are trying to teach her about respect.

Tomorrow evening we will go spend time with Jacob's parents. Then Friday evening dinner with sisters and cousins. Saturday afternoon Christmas with my brother and his family. Saturday night Christmas with my parents and sisters. Whew! That's a lot!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!

My sweet hearted Lexi

I was laying bed today, rather upset. Lexi came in to ask me if she could read stories on my kindle. She saw my crying an automatically teared up. Which made me cry harder. This isn't the first thing she has done this. She can not handle seeing me in pain. She was meticulously wiping my tears and telling me that I'm soaking wet, all at the same time that I'm trying to console her. My fear is that I have damaged her. That not only will she remember these times where she seems me crying in bed, but that somehow she will remember all the times when she was a colicky newborn and I lost my patience with her crying. I don't want to screw up her and Rex's lives. I want everything to be perfect for them. Lexi, You are my whole life. I love to sneak in and watch you sleep. I love to kiss your hands and your cheeks. I love to stroke your hair. I love when we have sleepover nights and we can cuddle all night long, until it's time to get up and go to work in the morning. I love how much you already love your baby brother. I love how you kiss and touch my belly. I love how you tell everyone about Baby Rex Allen. You are already his protector. You ask me almost every day if Rex Allen is ok. I already know you are going to be the greatest big sister. But, I see beyond that too. I see a lot of myself in you. I can let myself get completely wrapped up and distraught over people I don't even know and their hurt. I see this happening in your heart. I see your empathy working, and it's something I'm so proud of. I know you can truly feel sorry for people, already at your young age. Your heart is sweet and pure and amazing. Thank you for showing me all I need to be in life.

Little Bitty Turns 3

When Lexi was born she weighed 5 pounds 5 oz and went to the NICU for 9 days.  Jacob's mom (Granny) started called her Little Bitty.  I always think about that now because she is so big, and tells us all the time that she's not a baby.

We had Lexi's 3rd birthday party today.  Her actual birthday is May 3, but this is the first free weekend we have had.  We went back and forth on themes, but she settled on Princess and the Frog.  I think she would watch that movie on repeat 24/7 if we would let her.  We found the package we wanted from Party City.  If you order in the store you can get free shipping to your home.  I was so excited when it came in this week.  It is so cute!  And filled with so many great things.  I didn't have to purchase anything extra to go with the supplies.

I wasn't sure how many people were going to show up to the party, but by last night I had a good feeling we were going to have a house full of people and I kinda started to panic.  And of course we cleaned like maniacs because this is the first time we are hosting a party in our new house...and some people had never been here before.

I went back and forth on what to do about a cake.  I really wanted to get her something to go with Princess and the Frog, but I kinda ran out of time and money.  So we happened to be walking through Aldi yesterday and saw these cute little ice cream cakes.  So we got 2 of those and called it good.

Lexi greeted everyone at the door and told them that it was her Princess and the Frog Birthday Party.

Thankfully Jacob's Nana called and told us she was bringing 2 card tables with chairs...so that gave us extra seating.

Mantle decorations

Cups, Forks, and Spoons

(The purple ones came with the package and I had the clear ones)

Plates

Napkins

Birthday Banner

(It came with tons of numbers to personalize it)

Balloons came in the package

I googled it, and it said these are called Party blowers

Table decorations

These invitations came with the package, but we ordered so late that we had already sent invitations out.  So I used a few of them to decorate the front door.

I could go on and on about how proud I am of my girl.  She did so great even though she didn't have a nap. She told everyone thank you and gave lots of hugs and kisses.  After everyone was gone she said, "I loved my party.  Everyone was here."  Yes indeed!  Everyone was here!

The cakes
I didn't taste it but everyone said it was really good.  And we had the perfect amount.

The beautiful birthday girl

When I think about this day I am so happy that I could cry.  I don't like the stress of preparing and wanting everything to be perfect.  But, when it came down to it...it was the perfect day.  We will leave the decorations up for a couple of days probably so Lexi can enjoy them more.  Thank you everyone for coming and making her day so special!  We love you!

My sick girl

Lexi is sick.  :(
She had some yucky green snot a couple mornings early this week.  No big deal, I've been suffering from allergies so I thought it was probably the same thing for her.  So Monday night I gave her some benadryl at bed time.  Jacob said she was pretty whiney Tuesday morning, but we all have our days right?!  So he took her to school like normal.  He got a text that morning (before lunch) that she was really not feeling well and running a 102 fever.  So he went and got her.  He came home and gave her some Advil.  She layed down on my pillow in front of the fan and fell asleep.  The fever came down some.  I ended up coming home early because I couldn't even function at work.  I was a nervous wreck.  I just didn't like the fact that I wasn't there with her.  I mean, I know Jacob is fully capable of taking care of her...but everyone needs their mama when they are sick right?!  She generally doesn't run a high fever...it might get to 99 or 100 but that's it.  So it had me worried.  She was fairly lethargic last night but we alternated Advil and Tylenol every 4 hours and it kept the fever around 100.  You could tell she just wasn't feeling good though.  Granny came over to see her and she wouldn't do anything except for lay in bed, and that's so not like her at all.  She ended up sleeping with me because I figured we would both sleep better if she was with me.  She slept pretty good, but I was still checking her temp and feeling her forehead all night.  Her fever came down overnight.  But she woke up this morning running a 101 temp again.  Jacob had his mom come over to watch her and call the dr.  They said to bring her in immediately.  She got there and wasn't running a fever, as I had given her Advil before I went to work.  They checked her for mono and strep and they both came back negative (thank goodness!)  They said one of her tonsils was a little swollen, but nothing major.  They checked her ears and amazingly enough she doesn't have an ear infection.  That's usually the culprit when she gets sick.  So they said it just was something viral and would have to run it's course.  It's good to know that there's nothing wrong with her, but that also means that there's no medicine to give her to make her better....just medicine to control the fever.  I ended up coming home at noon with a really bad migraine.  When I got here Jacob was taking her to McDonald's for lunch.  She was feeling much better and had no fever!  She acted pretty normal this afternoon, but then around 4 got really whiney so I took her temp and it was back up almost to 101 again.  So more advil for her.  Gave her some more medicine at bed time and put her in our bed.  It literally took her 2 minutes to fall asleep.  That's a sure sign that she's not feeling good...as she usually has to read and talk for at least 20 minutes before falling asleep.  Aunt Lisa is coming down tomorrow to watch her.  Hopefully her fever breaks overnight and stays down!  Her birthday party is this weekend, so we really don't want to have to cancel that.  She's been talking about it all week.
I know that was a really long post about just 2 days time, but I feel better just talking about her!  Say a prayer for my girl if you would!

                               My sick girl last night.  She looks much the same right now.

Journal Entries

One thing I did when I was pregnant with Lexi was I started a journal. It started out as my journal of trying to get pregnant, but it flowed into my journal to Lexi. It has the sticky note from my first bloodwork I had with her stuck in it. And just all the little notes I wrote to her.
So of course one of the first things I wanted to do when I found out I was pregnant again, was get another journal to start. Seriously, when you think about it, pregnancy goes by so fast, and I will not be able to remember a specific day what happened. But if I write it down, I can always go back to that. I have already referred to Lexi journal this time around to see if I'm feeling the same things I was feeling last time. And I plan on when they turn 16 or 18 to give them these journals. I plan to keep them up until then. Because no matter what happens and what fights we are bound to have...they will always know how much I loved them, and how much I wanted them. So for this entry I wanted to put my latest notes to Lexi and what I'm calling Baby B.

3/26/12

Baby B,

I'm going to call you that until I know if you're a boy or a girl--8 more weeks!!

We are 13 weeks today. You are the size of a peach--growing big!

Our first picture of you is so cute! You were waving at us!

Sometimes I think I can feel you moving, but I'm not sure. They say you can feel it better with your second pregnancy.

Lexi is so excited about you! She loves her big sister shirt. She already thinks you are a boy.

Mommy has been really sick. I hope all the stress and medicines aren't hurting you. The dr. says they are safe. Because I was in so much pain I got to go in and listen to you. Your heartbeat was in the 150s. Dr. Lakin (you will love her) says everythingn is good. She said I should start feeling better in a couple weeks. I sure hope so. But everything is so worth it for you.

I talk to you and sing to you in the car. I hope you recognize my voice.

Sorry about the bumps the other night. Sometimes your sister accidentally kicks me while she's asleep.

Keep growing and getting stronger!

I love you--Mommy

March 26, 2012

Lexi--

You grow so much every day. You are almost 3 and I can't believe it. I don't know if we will do Minnie Mouse or Tangled for your birthday party. It is starting to get warm now, but you always have to wear pants and socks! Silly girl! Mommy, Lexi, Nanny, and Poppy rode together to Grandma Judd's 88th birthday party. 4 hours in the car each way and you never whined. Everyone talked about how big and smart you are. Mommy and you shared a bed. It was fun! We watched Disney or Nick Jr. until we fell asleep. Then I smooched your face all night while you slept. Mommy has been really sick because of being pregnant. You love to take care of me. Telling me to go lay down and coming to check on me occassionally.

I love you so much big girl!

Love Mommy

Now some pictures of my lovebugs:

The little things she says and does

Lexi's speech has just been growing out of control lately. It seems like she says something new every single day. Here are some gems from this week:

I noticed her daycare paper said she didn't eat any lunch so I asked her why. She responded with "I don't like stroganoff and I don't like carrots." A good mother probably would have responded in some way urging her child to try new foods at school. Not this mama. She answered my question way better than I thought she would so I just said OK and turned away."

This same day we ask Lexi if we could name the new baby Rex. Now we don't know if it's a boy or a girl. But if it's a boy I would like him to be named Rex. She says, "No that's Poppy." Once again, this mama is speechless. I have never heard her call Poppy by his name. I didn't know she knew that's what his name was. The boys and Zoe call him Poppy Rex, but Lexi never has. I guess she just grasped that fact at some point that his name was Rex. So, at this point it looks like it will take some convincing to get her to agree to name the baby Rex.

The next day her paper says she didn't eat breakfast. Ok, I know my child is very picky. But usually there is something that she will eat from each meal. So I asked Jacob was the breakfast was. His actual words were, "it was pretty gross Danielle. It was some kind of broccoli, cheese, omelette." Well apparently they put the plate down in front of Lexi and she matter of factly stated that she couldn't eat that because it makes her sick. Now if I would have been present I probably would have fainted out of sheer embarassment. So we need to have a lesson on what words are rude and what words you can't say to people because you could hurt their feelings.

In all honestly she is a very picky little girl. I don't know where it came from, besides the fact that her father is a picky eater also. I made all her babyfood for her when she was a baby. She loved it. She loved it so much that once she got a taste of homemade, she wouldn't eat anything out of a jar. I gave away so much WIC babyfood because Lexi wouldn't touch it. And that was good for us. Because I loved making her food for her. I knew exactly what was in it and it was made with love. Once she started eating finger foods she would still eat almost anything. I would cube up sweet potatoes and she would eat them. She would eat peas and green beans, peaches, pears, apples, bananas. It was after her 1st birthday that her eating really slowed down. I was worried about it at first, but it seemed to stress her out more to try to make her eat something, and then she would end up not eating at all. So I have given in. Maybe after she turns 3 I will push her a little harder on some foods. Because I don't want her eating junk food all the time.

Current foods Lexi will eat:
pizza, bread sticks, pizza pockets, ramen noodles (she will eat a whole package), apples, oranges, chips, fries, occassionally chicken nuggets, toast or plain bread, plain flour tortilla or sometimes with cheese wrapped inside, yogurt, jello, applesauce, string cheese, waffles, poptarts, pancakes, and of course candy. She is healthy. She hasn't gained weight in a year, but she hasn't lost weight either. She is still growing taller. Her pediatrician isn't worried about her at all.

She truly is the sweetest girl and I ask myself everyday how I got so lucky to have her! She is my first true miracle!

Letter to Lexi 10/3/11

Lexi,
You are so grown up and so smart!
You keepo me on my toes wondering what new thing you will say today.
You go to school with Daddy and you love it so much.
You love to read, just like Mommy and Daddy and it makes us so happy.
We haven't gotten potty training down yet, but like everything else, I know you will do it on YOUR time!
You like to wake up early and yell until someone brings you to our bed, but Mommy loves your cuddles.
You can count all the way to 10. You know most of your ABC's but mix up the order. Your new favorite song is wheels on the bus. Daddy added "the Lexi's on the bus go Yay Yay Yay!" and that is your favorite part of the song. You can pick out certain numbers and letters when you see them. When the Channel 6 news comes on you always say "Homa Homa!" (Oklahoma)
You love to color and are starting to stay in the lines more. You love puzzles and Barbies.
Your new favorite show is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. That's the only show Poppy could find on tv one morning and you were immediately in love.
Lexi you are so loving and compassionate. A few weeks ago I was sick. You climbed in bed, patted me, and say "it's ok sissy." We very rarely have to punish you because just raising our voices hurts your feelings. You almost immediately stop, cry, get in Daddy's lap and seek his forgiveness.
Your strong will and attitude reminds me of myself.
You love sports, especially your OSU Cowboys. You love Pistol Pete and are so quick to throw up your pistols and give anyone you meet a "Go Pokes!"
During baseball season your favorites were Yadi and Berkman. I looked all over and couldn't find you a Cardinals shirt.
Lexi, I hope you always know how much I love you! You are my special miracle and I thank God every day foryou. I continuously wonder who you are going to become. Will you play sports, band, show animals? Or just be a diva princess?!
You teach me how to love with my whole heart and how to be loved in return!
Love you bunches and bunches!
Mommy