My sweet babies. I can still call you that. You're still my babies. Even though you're growing up more every single day.
You've had to grow up a lot within the past year. Back in November, you had to go through me moving out of the house and wondering if your dad and I were going to get divorced. You had to spend your time with your dad, mainly wondering when and if you were going to get to see me again. And when you came to see me, I was staying with Nanny and Poppy so it wasn't really what you're used to. But you guys were strong. So very strong. And because you were so strong, you helped me and Daddy see what we needed to do. We needed our lives to be together with you. What it came down to was that when I closed my eyes, I couldn't imagine seeing anyone walking towards me beside you guys and your daddy.
I know there are times that still aren't great for you. Times have been hard from going to daycare, to getting used to me being home all the time. I think we had a great summer together. We didn't get to do as much as I had planned on doing. But, we spent a lot of time together, and that means so much for me! I hope you guys had just as much fun as I did.
I want to take a second to let you guys know that, I know there may be times when you hear me and your daddy raise our voices or argue in front of you. Though we try to keep most of that stuff away from you, I know it still can happen. No matter what you hear, and no matter what happens...we're together forever now. There's nothing here that's going to break us apart.
So I also want to talk about my sickness. I think both of you know that my sickness is called "migraines." A migraine is like a really really bad headache. I've had this sickness for a very long time - before either one of you was born. So there are a lot of times when I can deal with the pain. You may notice me sitting with an ice pack. Or sitting in my chair with the diffuser and my smells running. But then there were times like yesterday. Times like I had to take some medicine and lay down. When I took my medicine and laid down, I was hoping I would be able to get up when you guys got off the bus. But, I put a note on the door just in case. Because I didn't want you guys to be shocked or surprised when you got home and I was in bed. And that's what happened. I wasn't able to get up. I wasn't able to get up when Daddy got home. But I was finally able to get up this morning before you guys went to school. I hope you can remember that. That as soon as I was able to get up, that I did.
I guess my main thing in these letters to you is to just let you know how much I love you. And to let you know how much I am willing to do for you. And how far I push myself to try to do the things you need me to do.
I love you guys so much! You are my life and breath. The reasons I get out of bed every single day.
Always be good. Always be nice to the underdog. And always support those who can't support themselves.
