My Lexi Rosemay,
You are far more than I ever could have imaged just 9 short years ago. It seems like yesterday we brought you home from the NICU. Two new parents not having a clue in the world as to what we were in for. We thought we knew what we were getting into. But we had no idea.
You are amazing. And sweet. And loving. And you have my tender heart.
I very clearly remember my first day of 4th grade. I teared up. But I held it in. I remember my teacher asking my mom if I was going to be ok. She said yes. Because, like me with you, she knew I would be ok. While your brother didn't have a care in the world as I dropped him off in Kindergarten, you, my sweet girl, were teary-eyed. But, like my mama, I knew you would be ok. I knew that you didn't really need me. You were just unsure about yourself and how the day and year would go. You're already doing great. Acing tests and reading library books faster than you can check them out. You're like your daddy that way.
I love you more than I can ever explain. I can only say that I hope you have a daughter someday so that you can know this feeling.
You are amazing. Please promise me that you will never forget that.
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
Letters to Rex: September 2018
Rex Allen,
I hope you are able to read this some day. I hope this blog stays out there long enough for me to be able to share it with you.
I can't believe you just turned 6! My baby! I'm sorry honey, but you will always be my baby.
You started Kindergarten! And of course on your first day you couldn't have cared less when it was time for me to walk out the door. It was harder on me than you. I mean, it's not like I wanted you to cry. I'm glad you're happy and comfortable there. But part of me still needs you to need me.
Yes that's right. I need you to need me. You're my last baby. My last baby....ever. My last baby I will ever send to Kindergarten. There was a time when I provided everything you needed. A time that seems like yesterday to me. A time when your daddy went back to work and it was just me, you, and sissy hanging out at home all day. And even more recent, a time when only I could understand you. Now your sissy has mainly taken over that roll. I still understand you more than daddy. But sissy understands you even more than me. I don't understand it, but I've heard stories that your daddy and your Uncle James were the same way.
You're about to start your second year of speech therapy. But you've already lost some of the words and phrases and mispronunciations that you used to have. Things that I didn't know I would miss.
"Big Boop Belly" will always be my favorite. I was reminded of the "Wahlburgers goo goo goo" video today. It almost made me cry. I know that very soon you won't say "Keacher" instead of teacher. You won't say "Dissy" isntead of Sissy. And unfortunately you probably won't call me Mommy for much longer. I know that big boys say "Mom." But I'm not ready. I'm not ready for you to not be my baby boy.
I love you so much it hurts sometimes.
My baby boy. You are growing up so fast. Please slow down. Because I still need you.
I hope you are able to read this some day. I hope this blog stays out there long enough for me to be able to share it with you.
I can't believe you just turned 6! My baby! I'm sorry honey, but you will always be my baby.
You started Kindergarten! And of course on your first day you couldn't have cared less when it was time for me to walk out the door. It was harder on me than you. I mean, it's not like I wanted you to cry. I'm glad you're happy and comfortable there. But part of me still needs you to need me.
Yes that's right. I need you to need me. You're my last baby. My last baby....ever. My last baby I will ever send to Kindergarten. There was a time when I provided everything you needed. A time that seems like yesterday to me. A time when your daddy went back to work and it was just me, you, and sissy hanging out at home all day. And even more recent, a time when only I could understand you. Now your sissy has mainly taken over that roll. I still understand you more than daddy. But sissy understands you even more than me. I don't understand it, but I've heard stories that your daddy and your Uncle James were the same way.
You're about to start your second year of speech therapy. But you've already lost some of the words and phrases and mispronunciations that you used to have. Things that I didn't know I would miss.
"Big Boop Belly" will always be my favorite. I was reminded of the "Wahlburgers goo goo goo" video today. It almost made me cry. I know that very soon you won't say "Keacher" instead of teacher. You won't say "Dissy" isntead of Sissy. And unfortunately you probably won't call me Mommy for much longer. I know that big boys say "Mom." But I'm not ready. I'm not ready for you to not be my baby boy.
I love you so much it hurts sometimes.
My baby boy. You are growing up so fast. Please slow down. Because I still need you.
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