Monday, March 18, 2019

Letters to Rex

Rex Allen,

My baby boy.  I just love you so much!  You have grown so much it seems like since you started Kindergarten.  I wasn't really prepared for it.  You tried to sit on my lap yesterday. I was looking at your back and shoulders and realizing you weren't a baby anymore.  You are a little man now.  You barely fit on my lap.  And you rarely want to sit there anymore.

You are the sweetest boy I know.  Last week I was in bed with a migraine for a couple days.  On the second day you came in my room and told me "Mommy I really don't want you to go to bed early tomorrow." You love doing things for me when I'm sick.  You love taking care of me.

When I was pregnant with you, I didn't know how much I needed you.  But you filled my heart completely the day you joined us.  And now I can't imagine my life without you in it.

You are such a big boy in a little body.  You have such big feelings and emotions.  You love your friends like something I've never seen.  Your best friend Matthew was recently sick with the flu and strep and you were so sad about it.  He had just spent the night at our house.  You cried when we dropped him off at home the next day.  You just didn't want your sleepover to end.

Every time you see a sloth, you have to buy it for me.  Even if it means spending your money on something for me.  2 times Daddy has taken you to the book store to buy a book and you spent your money on a sloth book because you knew I would like it.  But it's not just me.  Anytime you see something green you tell me we need to buy it for Granny.  Anytime you see something crafty you say Nanny could make that.  You have the biggest heart.

Sometimes your emotions are too big for your little body.  We're still working on it.  You're doing so much better about vocalizing how you feel instead of lashing out immediately.

Right now you love your ipad, the computer, and playing the nintendo switch.  You're in the top 10 on laps run at school.  And you didn't want me to make a big deal about it.  It was just part of your day, no big deal.  But to me, you are a big deal baby boy!  Everything you do is special to me!

I love you so much and I hope you never forget it!

Letters to Lexi

Lexi Rosemay,

You're about to turn 10 and I'm just not ready for it.  You are the most amazing little girl I've ever met. 

Let me tell you about how you're the strongest girl I know.  (Because one day I hope you look back on these blog posts and find things you don't remember.) You got your ears pierced about a month ago.  You had them pierced when you were a baby, but then you refused to leave earrings in so the holes closed up.  You knew it was going to kinda hurt, but you decided you wanted to do it anyways.  And you did it while I was out of town! But, I knew all you would need was your daddy there and you would be fine.  You were in charge of keeping them clean.  I opened the bottle of cleaner every night for you and you cleaned them.  So, after 3 weeks you asked if we could change the earrings.  I got everything ready and we sat down.  As soon as I touched your right ear, pus starting pouring out.  I was horrified.  You barely flinched.  I told you we couldn't change them yet. Because I knew there was no way I could get that earring out without hurting you.  I asked you if it had been hurting and you said that it had been hurting some, and down your neck some.  I was in shock!  There's no way that couldn't have been killing you!  All I could do was say sorry.  And then apologize over and over every day for the next week as we cleaned it.  Thankfully in a couple days it was so much better and we were able to change the earrings out.  I feel like I failed you.  Sometimes you're so independent that I forget you're still 9 years old.  I feel like I have a high pain tolerance, but you just blew me out of the water little girl. 

You're also the smartest girl I know.  I'm already preparing myself to listen to you give the valedictorian speech at your graduation.  I'm calling it now baby girl. 

And....you're the best big sister ever.  Yes, you and your brother fight.  Sometimes a lot.  But, you take care of him so much.  You are always there to remind him to get his coat on, and get his backpack ready in the morning.  Even if he doesn't want to hear it. 

I love you so much Lexi.  And I thank God every day for making me your mama.  Me and your Daddy waited so long to have you, and there isn't a second that goes by that we aren't thankful for you. 

Love you forever baby girl!

Friday, October 5, 2018

Lexi and Rex

My sweet babies.  I can still call you that.  You're still my babies.  Even though you're growing up more every single day. 
You've had to grow up a lot within the past year.  Back in November, you had to go through me moving out of the house and wondering if your dad and I were going to get divorced.  You had to spend your time with your dad, mainly wondering when and if you were going to get to see me again.  And when you came to see me, I was staying with Nanny and Poppy so it wasn't really what you're used to.  But you guys were strong.  So very strong.  And because you were so strong, you helped me and Daddy see what we needed to do.  We needed our lives to be together with you.  What it came down to was that when I closed my eyes, I couldn't imagine seeing anyone walking towards me beside you guys and your daddy. 

I know there are times that still aren't great for you.  Times have been hard from going to daycare, to getting used to me being home all the time.  I think we had a great summer together.  We didn't get to do as much as I had planned on doing. But, we spent a lot of time together, and that means so much for me! I hope you guys had just as much fun as I did. 

I want to take a second to let you guys know that, I know there may be times when you hear me and your daddy raise our voices or argue in front of you. Though we try to keep most of that stuff away from you, I know it still can happen.  No matter what you hear, and no matter what happens...we're together forever now.  There's nothing here that's going to break us apart.

So I also want to talk about my sickness.  I think both of you know that my sickness is called "migraines." A migraine is like a really really bad headache.  I've had this sickness for a very long time - before either one of you was born. So there are a lot of times when I can deal with the pain.  You may notice me sitting with an ice pack. Or sitting in my chair with the diffuser and my smells running.  But then there were times like yesterday.  Times like I had to take some medicine and lay down.  When I took my medicine and laid down, I was hoping I would be able to get up when you guys got off the bus.  But, I put a note on the door just in case.  Because I didn't want you guys to be shocked or surprised when you got home and I was in bed.  And that's what happened.  I wasn't able to get up.  I wasn't able to get up when Daddy got home.  But I was finally able to get up this morning before you guys went to school.  I hope you can remember that.  That as soon as I was able to get up, that I did. 
I guess my main thing in these letters to you is to just let you know how much I love you. And to let you know how much I am willing to do for you. And how far I push myself to try to do the things you need me to do. 
I love you guys so much! You are my life and breath.  The reasons I get out of bed every single day.

Always be good.  Always be nice to the underdog. And always support those who can't support themselves.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Letters to Lexi: September 2018

My Lexi Rosemay,

You are far more than I ever could have imaged just 9 short years ago.  It seems like yesterday we brought you home from the NICU.  Two new parents not having a clue in the world as to what we were in for.  We thought we knew what we were getting into.  But we had no idea. 

You are amazing.  And sweet.  And loving.  And you have my tender heart.

I very clearly remember my first day of 4th grade.  I teared up.  But I held it in.  I remember my teacher asking my mom if I was going to be ok.  She said yes.  Because, like me with you, she knew I would be ok.  While your brother didn't have a care in the world as I dropped him off in Kindergarten, you, my sweet girl, were teary-eyed.  But, like my mama, I knew you would be ok.  I knew that you didn't really need me.  You were just unsure about yourself and how the day and year would go.  You're already doing great.  Acing tests and reading library books faster than you can check them out.  You're like your daddy that way. 

I love you more than I can ever explain.  I can only say that I hope you have a daughter someday so that you can know this feeling. 

You are amazing.  Please promise me that you will never forget that.

Letters to Rex: September 2018

Rex Allen,

I hope you are able to read this some day.  I hope this blog stays out there long enough for me to be able to share it with you.

I can't believe you just turned 6!  My baby!  I'm sorry honey, but you will always be my baby. 

You started Kindergarten! And of course on your first day you couldn't have cared less when it was time for me to walk out the door.  It was harder on me than you.  I mean, it's not like I wanted you to cry.  I'm glad you're happy and comfortable there.  But part of me still needs you to need me. 

Yes that's right.  I need you to need me.  You're my last baby.  My last baby....ever.  My last baby I will ever send to Kindergarten.  There was a time when I provided everything you needed.  A time that seems like yesterday to me.  A time when your daddy went back to work and it was just me, you, and sissy hanging out at home all day.  And even more recent, a time when only I could understand you.  Now your sissy has mainly taken over that roll.  I still understand you more than daddy.  But sissy understands you even more than me.  I don't understand it, but I've heard stories that your daddy and your Uncle James were the same way. 

You're about to start your second year of speech therapy.  But you've already lost some of the words and phrases and mispronunciations that you used to have.  Things that I didn't know I would miss. 
"Big Boop Belly" will always be my favorite.  I was reminded of the "Wahlburgers goo goo goo" video today.  It almost made me cry.  I know that very soon you won't say "Keacher" instead of teacher.  You won't say "Dissy" isntead of Sissy.  And unfortunately you probably won't call me Mommy for much longer.  I know that big boys say "Mom."  But I'm not ready.  I'm not ready for you to not be my baby boy. 

I love you so much it hurts sometimes. 

My baby boy.  You are growing up so fast.  Please slow down.  Because I still need you.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Getting Ready for Back to School

I've been slacking a lot on this blog.  It's kinda fallen by the wayside because of other things that have kinda gotten in the way. 

If you know me, you know I'm not huge on organization.  I mean, I talk a good game....but then putting it into play is another story.  So I'm going to be trying to make this school year less chaotic for everyone involved.

So I thought I would start trying to blog more regularly.  My first blog I'm going to focus on some small changes we can make to get back to school ready as easy as possible. 

The first item I want to talk about is this ten drawer cart.  They come in colors or white/clear plastic.  Whatever floats your boat. 
Not the best picture, but this particular item comes from Michael's. But I've seen lots of other retailers selling them.  It was very easy to assemble.  And if you have a small car like mine, you can get it shipped directly to your house.  What we do with this cart is each kid has 5 drawers. Their laundry day is usually Sunday.  So when their laundry is done they put together a complete outfit (underwear, socks, pants, shirt) and put it in one drawer.  They each of one drawer for each day of the week.  We used this system last year and for the most part, it worked fine.  Rex was 5 and still needed some assistance getting a full set of clothes in each drawer.  But then when the kids wake up in the morning, they can immediately go do a drawer and pick out their clothes.  

That saves SO MUCH time and stress out of my mornings.  See, I'm not a morning person AT ALL.  So the easier, the better.  

Another thing we try to do is make sure all our jackets/hats/etc are on the hooks next to the front door.  And our shoes will be organized by the front door.  

We also started an "inbox" system for the papers that come out of their folders at the end of the day.  Having an inbox gives the kids a specific place for them to put the papers and a specific place for me to look for papers.  Then I can sort out what needs to be signed, returned, marked in my date book, and what can be thrown away. 

I'm working on having a stress-free school year this year. Especially right at the beginning when everyone is going to be freaking out (mama's included)

credit for the cart goes to michaels.com 

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Letters to Lexi: 12/28/16

Lexi Rosemay,

I can't even tell you how amazing you are to me.  You are strong, and beautiful, and smart.  You are reading at least 2 grade levels above 2nd grade.  You have found a love for math this school year.
You have a beautiful singing voice and I hope you continue to love to sing.  Music has always been my love, and I would love for you to enjoy it the same way I do.  You love all kinds of music, including Dolly Parton, Reba, and all kinds of new country.  But you also can rock out to Daddy's Christian or 80's music.

You love your brother, but there are times when you just want to be by yourself...and he just won't let you.  He loves you so much, and he just wants to be wherever you are.  I hope you can always understand that and know how lucky you are to have each other.  Last night you read bible stories to him until he fell asleep.  It was the sweetest thing.

I hope you always know how much I love you and how special you are to me.  I hope our relationship continues to grow.  And I hope one day we can be best friends like me and Nanny.

I love you so much sweet girl!

Love,

Mommy