Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Letters to Lexi: 12/28/16

Lexi Rosemay,

I can't even tell you how amazing you are to me.  You are strong, and beautiful, and smart.  You are reading at least 2 grade levels above 2nd grade.  You have found a love for math this school year.
You have a beautiful singing voice and I hope you continue to love to sing.  Music has always been my love, and I would love for you to enjoy it the same way I do.  You love all kinds of music, including Dolly Parton, Reba, and all kinds of new country.  But you also can rock out to Daddy's Christian or 80's music.

You love your brother, but there are times when you just want to be by yourself...and he just won't let you.  He loves you so much, and he just wants to be wherever you are.  I hope you can always understand that and know how lucky you are to have each other.  Last night you read bible stories to him until he fell asleep.  It was the sweetest thing.

I hope you always know how much I love you and how special you are to me.  I hope our relationship continues to grow.  And I hope one day we can be best friends like me and Nanny.

I love you so much sweet girl!



Letters to Rex: 12/28/16

Rex Allen,

You are the most amazing little boy I have ever met.  You say or do something every day that just amazes me.  Your attitude is fierce, but your love is even more fierce. You know exactly when to lay the sweetness on me...usually when you know you've done something wrong and you're about to be in trouble.  I keep telling you that your little smile will not get you out of trouble forever.

You are so smart, but you just don't want anyone to know it.  When you're counting or singing ABCs you don't want anyone to be listening to you. I'm constantly trying to catch you on video. Last week daddy was spelling your name because he didn't want you to know that we were talking about you.  As soon as he spelled your name you said, "that's Rex."  We were so shocked that you knew how to spell your name!  You did let me take a short video of you saying it.  You also read "Taxi" on the back of a car on tv.  Who knew you could do that?!

You love your sister so much.  You want to do everything she does, and you want to be a part of anything she's doing.  Even when she doesn't want you to.

Your best friend at daycare is Matthew.  Everyday when I ask you who you played with, you say "Maffoo."  I love the way you say it, and I wish you would say it like that forever.

You did get in trouble for saying "what the hell?!"  I couldn't even believe you said it.  But then you said "what the heck hell?!" so now I say that all the time.  Everyone at work asks me everyday what you said the night before.  They have never met you, but they think you are so funny.

You love spending time with your family.  You and Mattie are so close and I just love it.  But you have also become really close with Blake.  I can see the 3 of you getting in lots of trouble as you grow up.

I hope you continue to be an amazing little man.  Don't grow up to quickly, and always want to sit on my lap.  I love you so much, my baby.



Monday, October 31, 2016

Reasons why my kids trunk or treat

In the past week or so I have seen several posts about how trunk or treat is stupid and why we should just do the old school trick or treating like we did as kids. It got me thinking and asking myself why I choose that option. Here are some reasons why trunk or treat works for us. 

1.  Time Let's face it. We are all running ourselves ragged. We feel like we need to do more and let our kids do more. When Halloween falls on a weeknight it makes it twice as difficult. Also in the time category is taking kids in and out of the car. It takes Rex approximately 7 years to get in the car. I can not imagine doing that repeatedly in the same night. 

2.  Safety I know this has been brought up as being ridiculous, but hang with me for a second. I don't think there is anyone putting pills or razor blades in the candy they hand out. For me, safety on Halloween is more about knowing that my kids can't dart into traffic or get separated from me. 

3.  Convenience Where we live trunk or treat is really the best option. We drive 2 minutes from our house, park, and walk through a line of cars getting candy. It's a small town. There aren't always sidewalks to walk on. It's almost impossible to do trick or treating just by walking around. Everyone doesn't hand out candy. So you may have to walk blocks between stops. 

Yes, I want my kids to have all the great experiences I had. But it's a different world than it was then. You can't just throw your kids in the back of a pickup and cruise around town. We still make a few other stops to see grandparents, aunts and uncles. 

As is the case with so many topics today, you don't have to choose one by bashing the other. Maybe when my kids are older, or if our town no longer does a big trunk or treat, then we will do traditional trick or treating. But for right now, trunk or treat is the better option for us. 

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Lexi and Rex

My babies,

I know I'm so far behind in my letters to you.  So tonight you are getting a combined letter.

You may not realize it now, but I love you more than life.   That is something that you won't understand until you have kids of your own one day. 
You are my reason for living and breathing.  You are the reason I get out of bed every day.

Rex,  you probably won't remember all my times spent in bed, because it isn't as bad as it used to be.  But Lexi, I know you will remember it.  I know you will remember sneaking in and snuggling up close to me and being my sweet little nurse.  You have more compassion in your tiny little body than most grown adults have. 
I'm sorry that you have to remember that.  I'm trying to do better and make better memories for you now.

I know at times it seems like I'm so frustrated, and as Lexi has put it this week that I "don't like you."  But that could never be true.  I could never not like you.  You will always be my babies.  The babies I fought and struggled to bring into this world.  And I will always always love you.  I may not like some decisions you make, and I know we are going to have rough times as you all get older. But, I love you so very much. 

Lexi, you are the smartest girl I know.  You have been in first grade for 3 whole days and you have already read your entire reading textbook. 
Rex Allen, you are my baby boy.  I always want to be the lady in your life.  I know someday someone will come in and steal you away from me.  But, you will always be my baby.  Since starting back to school (daycare) you have gotten so smart!  I catch you all alone in your room singing your abc's.  And you love to count. 

You both have my temper....and for that I am sorry!  You will deal with that your entire life.  And hopefully, soon, you will learn to tame it down.  Mommy is still working on that one.

I feel like I'm missing out on so much this school year already.  I almost cried the first day when Rex wasn't in the backseat to tell me "no goo goo gains" at the railroad tracks.  I miss being there to pick you up from school, Lexi.  So you can talk nonstop the whole way home.  I miss hanging out with Rex Allen all day, and being the only one that can understand his gibberish.

I hope you know why I have to work, and be away from home all day.  I hope you can understand that everything I do is for you.

When things get rough...and they will...I will wish I could take all your pain away.  And I probably won't be able to.  But you can always know that you have someone who loves you no matter what!  You could never do anything to take my love away from you. 

Mama loves you, my babies.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Letters to Rex 4/8/15

Rex Allen,  My not so little baby boy.  When I ask you if you're a baby now, you always tell me no.  Makes me sad.  I want you to stay my little baby!  Your personality is a force to be reckoned with.  You can go from sweet to fit throwin' in 3 seconds flat.  And each side is on opposite ends of the spectrum.  When you're sweet, you're the sweetest boy I've ever met.  Grabbing my cheeks so you can give me a big kiss.  But, when you're mad....boy you are mad.  I'm gonna go ahead and take credit for that specific personality trait, as your mama does have a bad temper. :)

You spent a few months going to school with Miss Kelly and Mattie Marie.  I think you really enjoyed your time there.  Once you figured out that Miss Kelly was going to call your bluff and make your little butt sit in time out.  But you're best friends now.  Your language exploded once you went back to school.  You talk so much now, and it seems like you are saying new words every day.  You are throwing less fit....I think because you can finally tell us what it is that you want. 

You are all boy though!  A little dirt or mud or anything gross never seems to bother you.  One surprising thing is that most of the grandkids are scared of Pa at some point.  Not you.  You call his bluff every single time.  And I think you have successfully broken down that old cowboy.  He talks about you to everyone he sees.  He plays and tickles and wrestles with you.  He talks about how he can't wait to get you in the work truck with him and Poppy Rex.  What a fun time that will be! 

You still love your Granny!  You are a Granny's boy!  I think I could drop you off at Granny's for a week and you would never ask when I was coming back. 

I love it when you wake up in the morning and start singing.  Your version of abc's or wheels on the bus, or twinkle twinkle.  I love to hear your little voice.  You love to throw in a couple more years we will see if you will be ready for TBall.  I'm sure your Uncle Tanner would really like that a lot. 

You're back to staying home with me, at least for this week.  At first I was nervous how you would react to another schedule change.  But you have surprised me.  You really just go with the flow.  Play a while, ask to sit on my lap for a while, and then back down.  You still love to take Sissy to school and pick her up so you can see the school buses.  You are all into cars, trains, big trucks, school buses, anything a little boy would like!

You are growing so much every day, son.  Please slow down!  I want you to still walk up to me and say "Up Now" for a while longer.

I love you more than you could ever imagine.
Forever and ever,


Letters to Lexi 4/8/15

My dear sweet are almost 6 years old.  It's still hard for me to wrap my head around that, as it seems like just yesterday you were still in my belly.
Your personality comes out more and more every day.  You have your own sense of style.  You know what you want and when you want it.  But, you have been like that from day 1. You have just a few short weeks until you will finish Kindergarten.  You have changed so much over this school year.  At the beginning you were so scared that the "paperwork" was going to be way too hard, and that there would be too much math and too many tests.  And you have flown right through it with no problems!  Your report cards hang on our refrigerator, as a reminder to us, and you, of how smart you are.  I literally can't buy books fast enough for you.  I thought at Christmas when I bought you some Chapter books we would have to read them together.  I was wrong!  You had read 1 of them by the end of the day, and read the others by the end of Christmas break.  Sometimes I just can't believe how smart you are.

TBall has started up again.  And the coach and everyone just goes on an on about how natural you are at it.  You have grown so much taller since last year, so you are throwing harder and running faster.  I want you to be good at it....but mostly I want you to have fun.  If there comes a day that you don't want to play anymore, then I will let you make that decision.  I want you to do things that you enjoy...not just things that Mommy enjoyed. 

You still love going to sleep at Nanny's house, and helping her bake.  We're waiting for the weather to get warm so you can spend more time out there. 
You love animals, but mainly cats! 
You sleep just like your daddy with the fan on and all the covers over your head.  Some mornings I can't even find you in there when I come to wake you up! 

Lexi, you will never know how proud of you I am.  Every day you show me something amazing and new that I had no idea you could do.  I know I'm not the best at it, but I'm working on showing you and telling you how proud I am and how happy you make me.

You are my little tender-hearted girl.  It breaks your heart when you get in trouble.  You will just cry and cry until it all blows over. 

I love you my sweet girl.
Forever and always,

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Goodbye 2014

Another year is almost over.  How can that be possible?  It seems like we were just about to ring in 2014! It has gone by so fast!  But, I think overall 2014 has been a good year for us.

I turned 30 in January. I don't really feel 30 if that makes sense.  I guess I always thought by the time I was 30 I would have everything figured out.  Ya know...organized home, mom with a planner and crafts and everything together.  But, alas, that is not how 30 turned out.  Oh well.

Lexi turned 5 in May and started Kindergarten in August.  It doesn't seem possible that my sweet little 5 pound miracle is in Kindergarten.  And I hate to brag (no really I don't) but this girl is smart.  She has always been smart.  I used to call her baby genius.  She was so scared to start Kindergarten because she didn't think she was smart enough to do it.  But now she loves it.  She is reading at least at a second grade level, and I couldn't be more proud of her.  I love to see little parts of her personality start to grow and change...but it's still funny to see the things that stay the same.  From the time she was born (4 weeks early) she has done things on her own time.  She joined the world early, but didn't want to leave the NICU.  She was adamant about using her preemie bottles up until the day she started using a sippy cup...which I had to hold like a bottle because she refused. She was content to sit on the floor and play with whatever she could reach.  Crawling and walking just weren't priorities.  She is the same today.  Everything is on her time.  She does not like to be woken up before she is ready.  She stumbles out of the bedroom looking exactly like me in the mornings!  I have to remind her over and over to get dressed, or eat breakfast, or brush her teeth, just so we can get out of the house in the mornings.  She just does things on her timing.

Rex Allen turned 2 in September. And let me tell you, I just don't know how that is possible. Seems like he was just my spoiled little baby who needed to be held at all times.  But now he's my spoiled big man.  I have always felt guilty about going back to work after he was born, but it was something that had to be done.  I was able to stay home for a year after Lexi was born, and I felt like I knew everything about her.  With Rex, I felt like all his bonding was with Jacob.  He was Daddy's boy all the way.  But me being home with him all day for 5 months has changed that!  We have gotten to know each other.  He has learned how to push my buttons, and I have learned how to interpret his gibberish.  I feel like we get each other now. And he definitely melts my heart with that ornery little smile.

In July I lost my job.  I have felt every emotion possible about it.  I have gone from feeling completely lost and broken, to feeling empowered and confident in new beginnings....and all the way back again. 

My health has had highs and lows.  Botox completely changed my life, and then changed it again when I lost my insurance. 

I got to be there to welcome a new nephew into the world in April.  And stand beside my sister as she married the love of her life in October.

We raised money and walked to end Alzheimers in memory of my Grandma.  And we still miss her every single day.

Lots and lots of family time was enjoyed this year.  This is something I can never get enough of.  I feel like I thrive when I am surrounded by family.  I never take enough pictures though, and should really make that a resolution for next year. 

I got to spend an amazing long weekend in Alabama this summer with some of my very best girl friends.  It was a long drive, and per the norm, I ended up as red as a lobster.  But it was so great. 

I have very close friends who have suffered extreme loss and pain this year.  I wish I could take that away from them.  I can only hope and pray that 2015 is a better year for them, and that their prayers are answered.  At the same time, I have friends who have had their dreams come true, and their prayers answered this year.  My heart couldn't be more happy for them. 

I have been wanting to post pictures from all our Christmas celebrations, but I left my camera at my mom's house last weekend, so I haven't been able to load any of them.  I promise that is coming!

No matter if 2014 was your best or worst year ever, I am praying for 2015 to bring all your greatest wishes!