Lexi and Rex

My sweet babies.  I can still call you that.  You're still my babies.  Even though you're growing up more every single day. 
You've had to grow up a lot within the past year.  Back in November, you had to go through me moving out of the house and wondering if your dad and I were going to get divorced.  You had to spend your time with your dad, mainly wondering when and if you were going to get to see me again.  And when you came to see me, I was staying with Nanny and Poppy so it wasn't really what you're used to.  But you guys were strong.  So very strong.  And because you were so strong, you helped me and Daddy see what we needed to do.  We needed our lives to be together with you.  What it came down to was that when I closed my eyes, I couldn't imagine seeing anyone walking towards me beside you guys and your daddy. 

I know there are times that still aren't great for you.  Times have been hard from going to daycare, to getting used to me being home all the time.  I think we had a great summer together.  We didn't get to do as much as I had planned on doing. But, we spent a lot of time together, and that means so much for me! I hope you guys had just as much fun as I did. 

I want to take a second to let you guys know that, I know there may be times when you hear me and your daddy raise our voices or argue in front of you. Though we try to keep most of that stuff away from you, I know it still can happen.  No matter what you hear, and no matter what happens...we're together forever now.  There's nothing here that's going to break us apart.

So I also want to talk about my sickness.  I think both of you know that my sickness is called "migraines." A migraine is like a really really bad headache.  I've had this sickness for a very long time - before either one of you was born. So there are a lot of times when I can deal with the pain.  You may notice me sitting with an ice pack. Or sitting in my chair with the diffuser and my smells running.  But then there were times like yesterday.  Times like I had to take some medicine and lay down.  When I took my medicine and laid down, I was hoping I would be able to get up when you guys got off the bus.  But, I put a note on the door just in case.  Because I didn't want you guys to be shocked or surprised when you got home and I was in bed.  And that's what happened.  I wasn't able to get up.  I wasn't able to get up when Daddy got home.  But I was finally able to get up this morning before you guys went to school.  I hope you can remember that.  That as soon as I was able to get up, that I did. 
I guess my main thing in these letters to you is to just let you know how much I love you. And to let you know how much I am willing to do for you. And how far I push myself to try to do the things you need me to do. 
I love you guys so much! You are my life and breath.  The reasons I get out of bed every single day.

Always be good.  Always be nice to the underdog. And always support those who can't support themselves.

Letters to Lexi: September 2018

My Lexi Rosemay,

You are far more than I ever could have imaged just 9 short years ago.  It seems like yesterday we brought you home from the NICU.  Two new parents not having a clue in the world as to what we were in for.  We thought we knew what we were getting into.  But we had no idea. 

You are amazing.  And sweet.  And loving.  And you have my tender heart.

I very clearly remember my first day of 4th grade.  I teared up.  But I held it in.  I remember my teacher asking my mom if I was going to be ok.  She said yes.  Because, like me with you, she knew I would be ok.  While your brother didn't have a care in the world as I dropped him off in Kindergarten, you, my sweet girl, were teary-eyed.  But, like my mama, I knew you would be ok.  I knew that you didn't really need me.  You were just unsure about yourself and how the day and year would go.  You're already doing great.  Acing tests and reading library books faster than you can check them out.  You're like your daddy that way. 

I love you more than I can ever explain.  I can only say that I hope you have a daughter someday so that you can know this feeling. 

You are amazing.  Please promise me that you will never forget that.

Letters to Rex: September 2018

Rex Allen,

I hope you are able to read this some day.  I hope this blog stays out there long enough for me to be able to share it with you.

I can't believe you just turned 6!  My baby!  I'm sorry honey, but you will always be my baby. 

You started Kindergarten! And of course on your first day you couldn't have cared less when it was time for me to walk out the door.  It was harder on me than you.  I mean, it's not like I wanted you to cry.  I'm glad you're happy and comfortable there.  But part of me still needs you to need me. 

Yes that's right.  I need you to need me.  You're my last baby.  My last baby....ever.  My last baby I will ever send to Kindergarten.  There was a time when I provided everything you needed.  A time that seems like yesterday to me.  A time when your daddy went back to work and it was just me, you, and sissy hanging out at home all day.  And even more recent, a time when only I could understand you.  Now your sissy has mainly taken over that roll.  I still understand you more than daddy.  But sissy understands you even more than me.  I don't understand it, but I've heard stories that your daddy and your Uncle James were the same way. 

You're about to start your second year of speech therapy.  But you've already lost some of the words and phrases and mispronunciations that you used to have.  Things that I didn't know I would miss. 
"Big Boop Belly" will always be my favorite.  I was reminded of the "Wahlburgers goo goo goo" video today.  It almost made me cry.  I know that very soon you won't say "Keacher" instead of teacher.  You won't say "Dissy" isntead of Sissy.  And unfortunately you probably won't call me Mommy for much longer.  I know that big boys say "Mom."  But I'm not ready.  I'm not ready for you to not be my baby boy. 

I love you so much it hurts sometimes. 

My baby boy.  You are growing up so fast.  Please slow down.  Because I still need you.

Getting Ready for Back to School

I've been slacking a lot on this blog.  It's kinda fallen by the wayside because of other things that have kinda gotten in the way. 

If you know me, you know I'm not huge on organization.  I mean, I talk a good game....but then putting it into play is another story.  So I'm going to be trying to make this school year less chaotic for everyone involved.

So I thought I would start trying to blog more regularly.  My first blog I'm going to focus on some small changes we can make to get back to school ready as easy as possible. 

The first item I want to talk about is this ten drawer cart.  They come in colors or white/clear plastic.  Whatever floats your boat. 

Not the best picture, but this particular item comes from Michael's. But I've seen lots of other retailers selling them.  It was very easy to assemble.  And if you have a small car like mine, you can get it shipped directly to your house.  What we do with this cart is each kid has 5 drawers. Their laundry day is usually Sunday.  So when their laundry is done they put together a complete outfit (underwear, socks, pants, shirt) and put it in one drawer.  They each of one drawer for each day of the week.  We used this system last year and for the most part, it worked fine.  Rex was 5 and still needed some assistance getting a full set of clothes in each drawer.  But then when the kids wake up in the morning, they can immediately go do a drawer and pick out their clothes.  

That saves SO MUCH time and stress out of my mornings.  See, I'm not a morning person AT ALL.  So the easier, the better.  

Another thing we try to do is make sure all our jackets/hats/etc are on the hooks next to the front door.  And our shoes will be organized by the front door.  

We also started an "inbox" system for the papers that come out of their folders at the end of the day.  Having an inbox gives the kids a specific place for them to put the papers and a specific place for me to look for papers.  Then I can sort out what needs to be signed, returned, marked in my date book, and what can be thrown away. 

I'm working on having a stress-free school year this year. Especially right at the beginning when everyone is going to be freaking out (mama's included)

credit for the cart goes to michaels.com