Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Lexi and Rex

My babies,

I know I'm so far behind in my letters to you.  So tonight you are getting a combined letter.

You may not realize it now, but I love you more than life.   That is something that you won't understand until you have kids of your own one day. 
You are my reason for living and breathing.  You are the reason I get out of bed every day.

Rex,  you probably won't remember all my times spent in bed, because it isn't as bad as it used to be.  But Lexi, I know you will remember it.  I know you will remember sneaking in and snuggling up close to me and being my sweet little nurse.  You have more compassion in your tiny little body than most grown adults have. 
I'm sorry that you have to remember that.  I'm trying to do better and make better memories for you now.

I know at times it seems like I'm so frustrated, and as Lexi has put it this week that I "don't like you."  But that could never be true.  I could never not like you.  You will always be my babies.  The babies I fought and struggled to bring into this world.  And I will always always love you.  I may not like some decisions you make, and I know we are going to have rough times as you all get older. But, I love you so very much. 

Lexi, you are the smartest girl I know.  You have been in first grade for 3 whole days and you have already read your entire reading textbook. 
Rex Allen, you are my baby boy.  I always want to be the lady in your life.  I know someday someone will come in and steal you away from me.  But, you will always be my baby.  Since starting back to school (daycare) you have gotten so smart!  I catch you all alone in your room singing your abc's.  And you love to count. 

You both have my temper....and for that I am sorry!  You will deal with that your entire life.  And hopefully, soon, you will learn to tame it down.  Mommy is still working on that one.

I feel like I'm missing out on so much this school year already.  I almost cried the first day when Rex wasn't in the backseat to tell me "no goo goo gains" at the railroad tracks.  I miss being there to pick you up from school, Lexi.  So you can talk nonstop the whole way home.  I miss hanging out with Rex Allen all day, and being the only one that can understand his gibberish.

I hope you know why I have to work, and be away from home all day.  I hope you can understand that everything I do is for you.

When things get rough...and they will...I will wish I could take all your pain away.  And I probably won't be able to.  But you can always know that you have someone who loves you no matter what!  You could never do anything to take my love away from you. 

Mama loves you, my babies.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Letters to Rex 4/8/15

Rex Allen,  My not so little baby boy.  When I ask you if you're a baby now, you always tell me no.  Makes me sad.  I want you to stay my little baby!  Your personality is a force to be reckoned with.  You can go from sweet to fit throwin' in 3 seconds flat.  And each side is on opposite ends of the spectrum.  When you're sweet, you're the sweetest boy I've ever met.  Grabbing my cheeks so you can give me a big kiss.  But, when you're mad....boy you are mad.  I'm gonna go ahead and take credit for that specific personality trait, as your mama does have a bad temper. :)

You spent a few months going to school with Miss Kelly and Mattie Marie.  I think you really enjoyed your time there.  Once you figured out that Miss Kelly was going to call your bluff and make your little butt sit in time out.  But you're best friends now.  Your language exploded once you went back to school.  You talk so much now, and it seems like you are saying new words every day.  You are throwing less fit....I think because you can finally tell us what it is that you want. 

You are all boy though!  A little dirt or mud or anything gross never seems to bother you.  One surprising thing is that most of the grandkids are scared of Pa at some point.  Not you.  You call his bluff every single time.  And I think you have successfully broken down that old cowboy.  He talks about you to everyone he sees.  He plays and tickles and wrestles with you.  He talks about how he can't wait to get you in the work truck with him and Poppy Rex.  What a fun time that will be! 

You still love your Granny!  You are a Granny's boy!  I think I could drop you off at Granny's for a week and you would never ask when I was coming back. 

I love it when you wake up in the morning and start singing.  Your version of abc's or wheels on the bus, or twinkle twinkle.  I love to hear your little voice.  You love to throw balls...so in a couple more years we will see if you will be ready for TBall.  I'm sure your Uncle Tanner would really like that a lot. 

You're back to staying home with me, at least for this week.  At first I was nervous how you would react to another schedule change.  But you have surprised me.  You really just go with the flow.  Play a while, ask to sit on my lap for a while, and then back down.  You still love to take Sissy to school and pick her up so you can see the school buses.  You are all into cars, trains, big trucks, school buses, anything a little boy would like!

You are growing so much every day, son.  Please slow down!  I want you to still walk up to me and say "Up Now" for a while longer.

I love you more than you could ever imagine.
Forever and ever,


Letters to Lexi 4/8/15

My dear sweet Lexi...you are almost 6 years old.  It's still hard for me to wrap my head around that, as it seems like just yesterday you were still in my belly.
Your personality comes out more and more every day.  You have your own sense of style.  You know what you want and when you want it.  But, you have been like that from day 1. You have just a few short weeks until you will finish Kindergarten.  You have changed so much over this school year.  At the beginning you were so scared that the "paperwork" was going to be way too hard, and that there would be too much math and too many tests.  And you have flown right through it with no problems!  Your report cards hang on our refrigerator, as a reminder to us, and you, of how smart you are.  I literally can't buy books fast enough for you.  I thought at Christmas when I bought you some Chapter books we would have to read them together.  I was wrong!  You had read 1 of them by the end of the day, and read the others by the end of Christmas break.  Sometimes I just can't believe how smart you are.

TBall has started up again.  And the coach and everyone just goes on an on about how natural you are at it.  You have grown so much taller since last year, so you are throwing harder and running faster.  I want you to be good at it....but mostly I want you to have fun.  If there comes a day that you don't want to play anymore, then I will let you make that decision.  I want you to do things that you enjoy...not just things that Mommy enjoyed. 

You still love going to sleep at Nanny's house, and helping her bake.  We're waiting for the weather to get warm so you can spend more time out there. 
You love animals, but mainly cats! 
You sleep just like your daddy with the fan on and all the covers over your head.  Some mornings I can't even find you in there when I come to wake you up! 

Lexi, you will never know how proud of you I am.  Every day you show me something amazing and new that I had no idea you could do.  I know I'm not the best at it, but I'm working on showing you and telling you how proud I am and how happy you make me.

You are my little tender-hearted girl.  It breaks your heart when you get in trouble.  You will just cry and cry until it all blows over. 

I love you my sweet girl.
Forever and always,