Monday, July 29, 2013

Pain

Pain.
That's all.  It consumes my whole life.  Everything I do is based around how much pain I'm in. Is it a 5 today?  Is it an 8 at this moment?  Can I function enough to work and drive myself home? Can I take care of my kids?

I went to the headache dr last week.  His newest suggestion is that I stop taking all "rescue medications."  Ex. tylenol, excedrin, fioricet, maxalt....
At this point they don't work, and they could be making it worse.

The month of June I had 2 days that I didn't have a headache.  2 days.

I'm currently waiting to see if my insurance will approve Botox injections.  Technically it's a cosmetic procedure so you have to get pre-authorization to do it.  Otherwise it's WAY expensive.  It can take up to 30 days for the insurance to say yes or no.  So right now, we wait.

I can't remember the last day I wasn't in pain.

Why do I even blog about it?  Why do I even post on my facebook about it?  It's pointless.  People have 2 opinions:  All I do is complain about my pain, or that I'm faking.  No one can have that many headaches.

I don't know what I have to do to prove it.  I know that I shouldn't have to prove it.  After 8 years I must be putting on a pretty darn good show.

I've been called lazy.
I've been called a faker.
I've been told that I should be able to function with a migraine.

Right now...I'm on the verge of losing my job because averaging 36 hours a week isn't enough.  I need to be there 40+.

I don't know what to do.