Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Letters to Rex 4/8/15



Rex Allen,  My not so little baby boy.  When I ask you if you're a baby now, you always tell me no.  Makes me sad.  I want you to stay my little baby!  Your personality is a force to be reckoned with.  You can go from sweet to fit throwin' in 3 seconds flat.  And each side is on opposite ends of the spectrum.  When you're sweet, you're the sweetest boy I've ever met.  Grabbing my cheeks so you can give me a big kiss.  But, when you're mad....boy you are mad.  I'm gonna go ahead and take credit for that specific personality trait, as your mama does have a bad temper. :)

You spent a few months going to school with Miss Kelly and Mattie Marie.  I think you really enjoyed your time there.  Once you figured out that Miss Kelly was going to call your bluff and make your little butt sit in time out.  But you're best friends now.  Your language exploded once you went back to school.  You talk so much now, and it seems like you are saying new words every day.  You are throwing less fit....I think because you can finally tell us what it is that you want. 

You are all boy though!  A little dirt or mud or anything gross never seems to bother you.  One surprising thing is that most of the grandkids are scared of Pa at some point.  Not you.  You call his bluff every single time.  And I think you have successfully broken down that old cowboy.  He talks about you to everyone he sees.  He plays and tickles and wrestles with you.  He talks about how he can't wait to get you in the work truck with him and Poppy Rex.  What a fun time that will be! 

You still love your Granny!  You are a Granny's boy!  I think I could drop you off at Granny's for a week and you would never ask when I was coming back. 

I love it when you wake up in the morning and start singing.  Your version of abc's or wheels on the bus, or twinkle twinkle.  I love to hear your little voice.  You love to throw balls...so in a couple more years we will see if you will be ready for TBall.  I'm sure your Uncle Tanner would really like that a lot. 

You're back to staying home with me, at least for this week.  At first I was nervous how you would react to another schedule change.  But you have surprised me.  You really just go with the flow.  Play a while, ask to sit on my lap for a while, and then back down.  You still love to take Sissy to school and pick her up so you can see the school buses.  You are all into cars, trains, big trucks, school buses, anything a little boy would like!

You are growing so much every day, son.  Please slow down!  I want you to still walk up to me and say "Up Now" for a while longer.

I love you more than you could ever imagine.
Forever and ever,

Mommy

Letters to Lexi 4/8/15



My dear sweet Lexi...you are almost 6 years old.  It's still hard for me to wrap my head around that, as it seems like just yesterday you were still in my belly.
Your personality comes out more and more every day.  You have your own sense of style.  You know what you want and when you want it.  But, you have been like that from day 1. You have just a few short weeks until you will finish Kindergarten.  You have changed so much over this school year.  At the beginning you were so scared that the "paperwork" was going to be way too hard, and that there would be too much math and too many tests.  And you have flown right through it with no problems!  Your report cards hang on our refrigerator, as a reminder to us, and you, of how smart you are.  I literally can't buy books fast enough for you.  I thought at Christmas when I bought you some Chapter books we would have to read them together.  I was wrong!  You had read 1 of them by the end of the day, and read the others by the end of Christmas break.  Sometimes I just can't believe how smart you are.

TBall has started up again.  And the coach and everyone just goes on an on about how natural you are at it.  You have grown so much taller since last year, so you are throwing harder and running faster.  I want you to be good at it....but mostly I want you to have fun.  If there comes a day that you don't want to play anymore, then I will let you make that decision.  I want you to do things that you enjoy...not just things that Mommy enjoyed. 

You still love going to sleep at Nanny's house, and helping her bake.  We're waiting for the weather to get warm so you can spend more time out there. 
You love animals, but mainly cats! 
You sleep just like your daddy with the fan on and all the covers over your head.  Some mornings I can't even find you in there when I come to wake you up! 

Lexi, you will never know how proud of you I am.  Every day you show me something amazing and new that I had no idea you could do.  I know I'm not the best at it, but I'm working on showing you and telling you how proud I am and how happy you make me.

You are my little tender-hearted girl.  It breaks your heart when you get in trouble.  You will just cry and cry until it all blows over. 

I love you my sweet girl.
Forever and always,
Mommy

Saturday, April 4, 2015

What are your worst habits

In an effort to try to blog more, I googled some blog topics.  Let me tell ya, there's a huge range of stuff you could blog about!!  But I still find it hard to pick from the list I compiled.  Also, I want to try to draw readers in to leave comments, and maybe even take the topic and move it over to their blog to post about it.

So please leave comments!  And if you have a blog, feel free to take the topic and run with it!!  I will try to work on an image or something for each topic with a link back.  The picture is at the bottom of the page.  You don't have to just post 5 bad habits, you can post however many you want.  If you don't have a blog, leave your comments here.  If you have a blog, grab that image and take it over to your blog.

Well, let's get on with it.  MY (Danielle) worst habits:

Cussing---I cuss like a sailor the majority of the time.  I try to watch my mouth around my kids...and kids in general.  But sometimes something slips out, and I do genuinely feel bad when that happens. It's something that I don't give much thought to. The past few places I have worked, were environments where an occasional f bomb or sh*t was just part of our day.  Am I proud of my mouth?  Absolutely not!  It's not something that I want my kids to pick up on and think it's ok because Mommy says it. 

I guess on each topic I could delve into what I can do to fix these things.  But for right now I'm just going to leave it as is.

Smoking---Most people know by know that I smoke.  Once again, it's not something I'm proud of...but it's something I am addicted to.  My car is a big trigger for smoking.  I cannot get in my car to drive to work, without lighting up a cigarette.  At my most recent job, I would take maybe 1 smoke break through the day, that's it. I do smoke after the kids go to bed at night.  I don't like them to see me smoking and think that it's something that is ok to do.

Showering---Seriously, I will go a couple days without showering. I don't like to wash my hair every single day, and our bathtub is currently broken. So, there are days where I don't shower.  Moving on.

Not reading my Bible every day---I was doing really well, and then I got sick for like a month straight and it got me out of the habit of doing it.  I did read my Bible tonight and wrote in my Bible Journal.  So I am taking steps to change that.

Not falling asleep as soon as I should...leading to me being awake all night--- Sometimes I still have so much running around in my mind that I just can't sleep....even if I'm feeling slightly tired. If Jacob has already gone to sleep, I can't watch tv in the bedroom because I don't want to disturb him.  So mostly I will get up, make a pot of coffee, sit down with Netflix, and whatever I am crocheting....and sit there until morning!!  I can sit there all night and crochet and feel really good until about 5 am.  I start to lag about that time, but I know I have to stay up because the kids will be up soon. So, I just power through, and hope that I will get to take a nap at some point during the day.  It really works out for me though, because I can usually power through a whole baby afghan in one night!!

Cleanliness---Here's another one that's going to make you guys think I'm some kind of filthy animal.  But I have a terrible habit of just leaving the kitchen as it is when I go to bed.  I used to be quite the opposite.  I couldn't go to bed if there were dishes in the sink.  Now, not so much.  They can be there for days before I force myself to do them.  I used to make sure the kids' toys were at least pushed to the edge of the room at the end of the day.  Nowadays, it's like walking through a field IED's just waiting to break all the bones in your foot if you dare step on them!

THE WORST ONE---This is probably the worst one.  I have developed a terrible habit of only looking at the bad. Like today...my kids got to spend time with their Nanny and Poppy and their cousins.  I took a nap.  When they got home I took them outside to color their Easter eggs.  They had so much fun doing it.  But then when we get back inside it's time for vitamins and medicine and bedtime.  So let the meltdowns start. When meltdowns start, mean mom comes out.  I feel like all my kids are going to remember about tonight (or me in general) was that I was a mean mom.  So right now when I'm sitting here looking back and thinking about it....all I'm thinking about is how I ruined their night.  And that isn't necessarily true.  They had an amazing time dying eggs.  They were so excited to tell daddy about them. I got to sit and listen to Lexi read to me tonight. I hid their eggs and filled their baskets. And I will do all I can to make tomorrow a magical day for them!!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Farewell

Tomorrow will be my last day at KTUL---Channel 8 for those of you in our viewing area.  Going into it, I knew it was only a temporary position.  But, I quickly learned that they were wanting to hire me permanently.  We were waiting for me to complete 600 hours with them, as to not break the contract they had with the temp agency. 
Going into a new job I am always worried about how I will fit in, and whether I will be able to do what they want me to do.  This job was different from any jobs I have had before, so it was essentially starting over. 
My biggest fear is that I won't fit in.  That no one will talk to me.  That I will eat lunch alone.  Because I just don't do good first impressions.  I have a weird smile and a semi-lazy eye.  I'm not tall and blonde and skinny.  Basically...I just don't fit in.  It takes a while for people to warm up to me and my dry sense of humor. Then they finally GET me.
But at KTUL it was so different. They welcomed me to their group from the very first day.  My birthday was the first week I worked there, so they went out and bought my lunch.  Hung balloons and streamers at my desk.  It was fun.  They told me when I was doing a good job. Which I don't need to hear it a lot, but occasionally is ok.  And it's really nice to hear it when you are doing something you have never done before. 
Everyone who works there is super nice.  From the anchors, to the salespeople, and to the maintenance man who unlocked the door to my office every morning.  The Receptionist's name is Betty, but everyone calls her Betty Mom.  Because that's her role....to be everyone's mom!!
I quickly fell in love with that place and kept my fingers crossed I could do everything right and get hired on full time. 

But that didn't happen.  Their station was purchased by a larger broadcast group with tons of stations.  So they are outsourcing a lot of jobs...and one of them happened to be mine. They at least were courteous enough to give me a 2 week notice And tomorrow is that day.

I'm probably going to cry. I found something I love doing.  Something I'm good at. In a place where the staff is like a big happy family.  And now it's like the rug has been pulled from underneath me. 
These people have truly become my friends in the last 3 months, and I am so sad to be leaving them.

I'm so scared and anxious to be starting all over again. What if they don't like me wherever I end up?  What if I hate the job?  What if I don't pick it up as fast as I did this time?  Those things scare me. 

I have a couple things lined up, so hopefully something will come through

So, ladies and gentlemen at KTUL-TV in TULSA...thank you!  Thank you for being patient as I learned.  Thank you for always being so friendly and nice. I never passed anyone in the hall without a smile and a good morning.    I have nothing but happy thoughts about my time at KTUL.