Letters to Lexi

Lexi Rosemay,

You're about to turn 10 and I'm just not ready for it.  You are the most amazing little girl I've ever met. 

Let me tell you about how you're the strongest girl I know.  (Because one day I hope you look back on these blog posts and find things you don't remember.) You got your ears pierced about a month ago.  You had them pierced when you were a baby, but then you refused to leave earrings in so the holes closed up.  You knew it was going to kinda hurt, but you decided you wanted to do it anyways.  And you did it while I was out of town! But, I knew all you would need was your daddy there and you would be fine.  You were in charge of keeping them clean.  I opened the bottle of cleaner every night for you and you cleaned them.  So, after 3 weeks you asked if we could change the earrings.  I got everything ready and we sat down.  As soon as I touched your right ear, pus starting pouring out.  I was horrified.  You barely flinched.  I told you we couldn't change them yet. Because I knew there was no way I could get that earring out without hurting you.  I asked you if it had been hurting and you said that it had been hurting some, and down your neck some.  I was in shock!  There's no way that couldn't have been killing you!  All I could do was say sorry.  And then apologize over and over every day for the next week as we cleaned it.  Thankfully in a couple days it was so much better and we were able to change the earrings out.  I feel like I failed you.  Sometimes you're so independent that I forget you're still 9 years old.  I feel like I have a high pain tolerance, but you just blew me out of the water little girl. 

You're also the smartest girl I know.  I'm already preparing myself to listen to you give the valedictorian speech at your graduation.  I'm calling it now baby girl. 

And....you're the best big sister ever.  Yes, you and your brother fight.  Sometimes a lot.  But, you take care of him so much.  You are always there to remind him to get his coat on, and get his backpack ready in the morning.  Even if he doesn't want to hear it. 

I love you so much Lexi.  And I thank God every day for making me your mama.  Me and your Daddy waited so long to have you, and there isn't a second that goes by that we aren't thankful for you. 

Love you forever baby girl!

Letters to Lexi: September 2018

My Lexi Rosemay,

You are far more than I ever could have imaged just 9 short years ago.  It seems like yesterday we brought you home from the NICU.  Two new parents not having a clue in the world as to what we were in for.  We thought we knew what we were getting into.  But we had no idea. 

You are amazing.  And sweet.  And loving.  And you have my tender heart.

I very clearly remember my first day of 4th grade.  I teared up.  But I held it in.  I remember my teacher asking my mom if I was going to be ok.  She said yes.  Because, like me with you, she knew I would be ok.  While your brother didn't have a care in the world as I dropped him off in Kindergarten, you, my sweet girl, were teary-eyed.  But, like my mama, I knew you would be ok.  I knew that you didn't really need me.  You were just unsure about yourself and how the day and year would go.  You're already doing great.  Acing tests and reading library books faster than you can check them out.  You're like your daddy that way. 

I love you more than I can ever explain.  I can only say that I hope you have a daughter someday so that you can know this feeling. 

You are amazing.  Please promise me that you will never forget that.

Letters to Lexi: 12/28/16

Lexi Rosemay,

I can't even tell you how amazing you are to me.  You are strong, and beautiful, and smart.  You are reading at least 2 grade levels above 2nd grade.  You have found a love for math this school year.
You have a beautiful singing voice and I hope you continue to love to sing.  Music has always been my love, and I would love for you to enjoy it the same way I do.  You love all kinds of music, including Dolly Parton, Reba, and all kinds of new country.  But you also can rock out to Daddy's Christian or 80's music.

You love your brother, but there are times when you just want to be by yourself...and he just won't let you.  He loves you so much, and he just wants to be wherever you are.  I hope you can always understand that and know how lucky you are to have each other.  Last night you read bible stories to him until he fell asleep.  It was the sweetest thing.

I hope you always know how much I love you and how special you are to me.  I hope our relationship continues to grow.  And I hope one day we can be best friends like me and Nanny.

I love you so much sweet girl!

Love,

Mommy

Letters to Lexi 4/8/15

My dear sweet Lexi...you are almost 6 years old.  It's still hard for me to wrap my head around that, as it seems like just yesterday you were still in my belly.
Your personality comes out more and more every day.  You have your own sense of style.  You know what you want and when you want it.  But, you have been like that from day 1. You have just a few short weeks until you will finish Kindergarten.  You have changed so much over this school year.  At the beginning you were so scared that the "paperwork" was going to be way too hard, and that there would be too much math and too many tests.  And you have flown right through it with no problems!  Your report cards hang on our refrigerator, as a reminder to us, and you, of how smart you are.  I literally can't buy books fast enough for you.  I thought at Christmas when I bought you some Chapter books we would have to read them together.  I was wrong!  You had read 1 of them by the end of the day, and read the others by the end of Christmas break.  Sometimes I just can't believe how smart you are.

TBall has started up again.  And the coach and everyone just goes on an on about how natural you are at it.  You have grown so much taller since last year, so you are throwing harder and running faster.  I want you to be good at it....but mostly I want you to have fun.  If there comes a day that you don't want to play anymore, then I will let you make that decision.  I want you to do things that you enjoy...not just things that Mommy enjoyed. 

You still love going to sleep at Nanny's house, and helping her bake.  We're waiting for the weather to get warm so you can spend more time out there. 
You love animals, but mainly cats! 
You sleep just like your daddy with the fan on and all the covers over your head.  Some mornings I can't even find you in there when I come to wake you up! 

Lexi, you will never know how proud of you I am.  Every day you show me something amazing and new that I had no idea you could do.  I know I'm not the best at it, but I'm working on showing you and telling you how proud I am and how happy you make me.

You are my little tender-hearted girl.  It breaks your heart when you get in trouble.  You will just cry and cry until it all blows over. 

I love you my sweet girl.
Forever and always,
Mommy

Letters to Lexi - 9/7/14

Lexi Rosemay,

It's hard to believe I'm writing these Letters to a big 5 year old now.

You have been in kindergarten for about a month now.  For some reason you were so scared to start school.  Any time we talked about kindergarten you would cry and cry.  Finally you told me and Nanny that you were scared to go because you couldn't do math, and you couldn't do lots of hard paperwork.  I kept assuring you that you are very smart and you would not have any problems.  But you were still scared.

You started reading this summer.  Last year in Pre-K you started reading a few words.  You would see something on TV and read it.  Me and Daddy were so amazed.  But over the summer you just started reading and reading and never stopped.  I can't take any credit for it because you did it all on your own.  By the second week of kindergarten you were already talking about how you were doing math in class.

Like I told your Bubba, you both have my short patience, and my big temper.  Daddy is in for it with 3 of us in the house!

I love being able to get up with you in the mornings and take you to school, and then being able to pick you up in the afternoons.  Then we get to spend a couple hours just you, me, and Rex before Daddy gets home from work.

Your favorite food is still peanut butter, but you are doing better about trying some other things.  You love pizza and macaroni and cheese.  You STILL eat string cheese like it's going out of style.  And like Mama, you love chocolate.

You can spot a Kia Soul (like Mommy's car) on the road from a mile away.  I'm sure that makes your daddy happy.  You are a technology queen, and can operate any device.

You love kittens right now.  You love to stay all night with Nanny and play with her kittens.

Baby Blake is your favorite person.  You are so sweet with him, and he just loves you so much.

Lexi, I hope you always know how special you are.  I hope that one day you can have a daughter, so you can know how much love I have for you!!

I love you baby girl.  Don't grow up too fast... Mama isn't ready.

Love you,

Mama

Letters to Lexi - March 2014

Lexi Rosemay,

I can't even begin to tell you how special you are to me.  You are my biggest fan, my nurse, my little princess.  You are everything I ever dreamed a daughter could be... and more!  I hope you always know that.

You have started your first year of tball.  It is very exciting!  So far we haven't had any games, only practices.  But you are doing so great.  I am more proud of you with every practice.  Tuesday you got hit with the ball.  I was so proud of you.  You didn't run to me until your coach asked you if you wanted to.  You cried.  Did you know that Mommy wanted to cry?  It was so hard for me to not run on that field and scoop you up.  You are so brave and strong.  I was afraid that you would be scared to go to practice today.  But you weren't.  And Daddy said you did so good.  He showed me the videos of you hitting. 

Your personality gets bigger every day.  You go from being a princess to being a tomboy all in the span of a few minutes.  You like to get dressed up, but you also like to wrestle with your brother. 

You are doing so great in school.  You usually have your 4 pages of homework done on Monday night.  You seem to love your teacher and all your friends.  And you are starting to read!!  I can't even begin to tell you how proud that makes me.  People have always said, since you were a little baby, that you are so smart.  And now is your time to shine. 

You have been on spring break this week.  And you have loved spending time with Daddy and Bubba all day.  You guys have done lots of fun stuff.  I hope you are making lots of good memories to look back on one day.

I can't believe in a couple short months, you will be 5 years old!  I can still remember seeing you for the first time after you were born.  You were so tiny!  We didn't really have any clothes that would fit you.  We had to roll all your pants up.  But you have caught up now, and it seems I can't keep up with buying pants that are long enough for you.

You will always be my baby girl.  I love you so much!!

Mommy

Letters to Lexi - January 2014

Lexi Rosemay,
You are 4 years and 7 months old. Even typing that right now, I can hardly believe it. It's been a while since I have written to you, so I hope I can remember everything that has gone on.

You are the BEST big sister! You are so helpful and you just love your brother so much.

You are in Pre-K this year and you are doing great! You surprise us every day with all the new things you are learning. Of course you know all your letters and numbers. But now you are starting to put sounds together and READ! The first things you read were colors. You read the colors in a color by number book. Then last week you read us a book you made at school. Just a little bit more practice and you will be a great reader. This excites Daddy and I because we love to read too.

You had a great Christmas. You were so happy with all of your gifts and told everyone thank you.

Santa couldn't fit a goldfish on his sleigh, so Mommy and Daddy had to take you to buy one. We actually bought 2! They are orange, so we named them Pistol and Pete.

You love the iPad, Luna (Lumia), your nab, and any phone you can get your hands on. You love to play games and watch Netflix.

You are really into my little pony right now, so you got a lot of ponies for Christmas. But you also love to watch Scooby doo before bed. So that should make your cousins Adam and James very happy.

You are the kindest little girl I have ever met. I joke about your attitude and how you are 4 going on 24, but it's not all bad. You can tell when someone is down and just needs a hug. You can tell when I don't feel good and you always tell me that I should go rest.

I love you with my whole heart! My most beautiful girl!

Love,

Mommy

Letters to Lexi 3/11/13

Lexi Rosemay,

Do you know how much I love you?  I hope you never wonder.  I hope you go to bed at night and have sweet dreams knowing how loved you truly are.

You are the sweetest girl I've ever met.  And I'm not just saying that.  You have the kindest heart.  If someone else is hurt, you hurt for them.  You hated it when you saw Bubba's bandaids the other day when he got shots.  You asked me if they hurt.  I told you that they probably did.  You just kissed him and talked to him and told him you were sorry he had to get shots.

I love to see your smiling face come walking into the bedroom in the morning.  Most mornings I'm awake and getting ready for work.  You come in and stand and watch me. 

Do you know how much I hate to leave you to go to work?  On the rare occassion when you get upset when I leave, it breaks my heart.  But I know you have fun with your friends at school.

You get so excited when I get home from work.  Always telling me, "I'm so glad you're here."

I was worried that you would not understand having a baby in the house.  But you do.  You get it.  You are such a big helper!

Do you know that I come in and watch you sleep?  I come in and kiss your cheeks, cover you up, and smile.  You are like an angel when you sleep. 

You're almost 4 and I can't believe it!

I found some of your school work last night.  You had written your name, and then written MOM and DAD.  I couldn't believe it!  You are just so smart.  Your teachers next year are going to have a handful with you!

You sing and talk all day long.  It amazes me.  You can turn anything into a song.  And you are starting to figure out how to make things rhyme.  Sometimes the words don't make sense, but you are rhyming!

I love you so much big girl!

Love,

Mommy

Letters to Alexia

I know she just had a whole blog devoted to her, but I feel like I should share her formal letter that is in her book.

Lexi-
You are so big and smart!  You come home every day and ask to do schoolwork with Daddy.  You have started tracing lines and shapes.  Hopefully we can get you writing your name soon.

You love to play games on Daddy's I-Pad and read stories on Mommy's Kindle.

You love to go to Miss Bethany's house every day and play with Brayden.  We still aren't decided on if he's your boyfriend or your best friend (wink.)  Yesterday you saw me crying and you automatically burst into tears.  You have such a sweet soul.  You remind me so much of my own heart.

You ask me about Rex all the time and you tell everyone that his name is baby Rex Allen.  You love to kiss my belly and talk to him.  You were laying on my belly and Rex kicked your back.  I don't know what you thought had happened.  I can't even begin to explain to you how much we love you.
I love to see your experience life with your whole family.  You still aren't sure about Pa (Claude) but we are trying to get you to not say that you don't like him.  You are scared of him because he is loud and gets in your face.  But Lexi - he loves you more than life.  All you girls make his world.
You love to stay all night with Nanny and Poppy - and make Poppy sleep on the couch.
Nanny lets you do whatever you want pretty much.
You also love to go to Aunt Lisa's because she takes you to the library and lots of fun places.
You have been swimming with Daddy and Aunt Twila this summer and you really love that.
Our favorite Mommy and Lexi time is having slumber parties in the big bed.  We love to snuggle up, watch cartoons, and read stories until we fall asleep.  Then mommy takes lots of pictures of you and steals lots of kisses.
We love you so much!

Love Mommy!

My sweet hearted Lexi

I was laying bed today, rather upset. Lexi came in to ask me if she could read stories on my kindle. She saw my crying an automatically teared up. Which made me cry harder. This isn't the first thing she has done this. She can not handle seeing me in pain. She was meticulously wiping my tears and telling me that I'm soaking wet, all at the same time that I'm trying to console her. My fear is that I have damaged her. That not only will she remember these times where she seems me crying in bed, but that somehow she will remember all the times when she was a colicky newborn and I lost my patience with her crying. I don't want to screw up her and Rex's lives. I want everything to be perfect for them. Lexi, You are my whole life. I love to sneak in and watch you sleep. I love to kiss your hands and your cheeks. I love to stroke your hair. I love when we have sleepover nights and we can cuddle all night long, until it's time to get up and go to work in the morning. I love how much you already love your baby brother. I love how you kiss and touch my belly. I love how you tell everyone about Baby Rex Allen. You are already his protector. You ask me almost every day if Rex Allen is ok. I already know you are going to be the greatest big sister. But, I see beyond that too. I see a lot of myself in you. I can let myself get completely wrapped up and distraught over people I don't even know and their hurt. I see this happening in your heart. I see your empathy working, and it's something I'm so proud of. I know you can truly feel sorry for people, already at your young age. Your heart is sweet and pure and amazing. Thank you for showing me all I need to be in life.