Sunday, July 8, 2012
My sweet hearted Lexi
I was laying bed today, rather upset. Lexi came in to ask me if she could read stories on my kindle. She saw my crying an automatically teared up. Which made me cry harder. This isn't the first thing she has done this. She can not handle seeing me in pain. She was meticulously wiping my tears and telling me that I'm soaking wet, all at the same time that I'm trying to console her. My fear is that I have damaged her. That not only will she remember these times where she seems me crying in bed, but that somehow she will remember all the times when she was a colicky newborn and I lost my patience with her crying. I don't want to screw up her and Rex's lives. I want everything to be perfect for them. Lexi, You are my whole life. I love to sneak in and watch you sleep. I love to kiss your hands and your cheeks. I love to stroke your hair. I love when we have sleepover nights and we can cuddle all night long, until it's time to get up and go to work in the morning. I love how much you already love your baby brother. I love how you kiss and touch my belly. I love how you tell everyone about Baby Rex Allen. You are already his protector. You ask me almost every day if Rex Allen is ok. I already know you are going to be the greatest big sister. But, I see beyond that too. I see a lot of myself in you. I can let myself get completely wrapped up and distraught over people I don't even know and their hurt. I see this happening in your heart. I see your empathy working, and it's something I'm so proud of. I know you can truly feel sorry for people, already at your young age. Your heart is sweet and pure and amazing. Thank you for showing me all I need to be in life.