Thursday, August 2, 2012

pregnancy after infertility

I don't really know where to go with this post without offending or triggering someone. So i will try my best to do neither. I will always consider myself infertile. It's a club I unwillingly joined. But I have met some amazing women along the way. They are my sisters now and I wont leave them. Pregnancy in general is hard. But pregnancy after infertility is especially hard. With Lexi I had extreme guilt because I got pregnant while we were on a ttc break. It was a miracle, but I was scared to share it with my friends because I didn't know how they would handle it. They were excited for me and life was good. After I had Lexi it was hard to post on our site because I felt like since I wasn't currently ttc I didn't have anything to contribute. But I learned that a simple "I'm here for you" works wonders when you don't know what to say or do. This pregnancy has been much the same. I got pregnant while we weren't ttc. I didn't even have a cycle. Rex is truly a miracle. And I had to share with my girls. Once again they were excited for me. But this is where the hard part comes. I don't remember a lot of things about my pregnancy with Lexi. So I have a lot of questions. I don't want to bombard my infertile friends with pregnancy questions. They always answer me but I can't imagine how difficult it is. Then there come the normal pregnancy issues. The aches and pains. Is this normal? Should he be moving more? I'm so sore and tired and miserable. Those are things I feel extremely guilty saying. Because I am infertile. I know what it took for me to get here. For me to get 2 babies I had to lose 3. So I shouldn't complain about morning sickness or round ligament lain or braxton hicks. Because. There is someone out there who would die to have those problems. And I know that. And I feel guilty for my feelings. So if I have offended anyone, I sincerely apologize. It was not my intent to hurt anyone.

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