Monday, January 28, 2013

Letter's to Rex - 1/28/13

Rex Allen,

You are an amazing little boy!
You grow so much every single day.

You are sleeping through the night now.  Which Mommy and Daddy really love!  You still wake up some nights and need a little midnight snack, but that's happens to all of us!  You sleep in your big boy bed, and move around so much through the night.

You smile so much!  Such a happy little boy!  Your eyes light up in the morning when you see Mommy, Daddy, or Sissy.

You are a drooling machine right now.  You have got to be teething.  You love to chew on anything you can get in your mouth.  I can't see or feel any little teeth right now, but I hope something breaks through soon so you can get some relief from that.

You have eaten some banana a time or two.  You still aren't sure about eating real food.  I mixed up some sweet potatoes yesterday so we will have to try that soon.

You want to sit up on your own, but you just can't balance right now.  But you love to sit up and see the world around you.

In just a few days you will be 5 months old.  That's almost half a year!!  I can't believe you have been here that long!

You are a big boy!  You are in the 75 % for your height....I don't know where you got that sure wasn't Mommy!

You still don't have much hair, but we're holding out hope that it's going to come in red.

You can still wear some 3 month tops, but pants and pajamas have to be at least 3-6, and most of them are starting to get too short!  I joked with Daddy that you are going to pass Lexi in weight by your first birthday....but that might really be true!

I love you bunches and bunches!



Letter's to Lexi 1/28/13

My Lexi Rosemay,

You are the sweetest girl I have ever met.  I can't believe I am blessed to be your Mommy.  You make every day worth getting out of bed.

Lately you say the most hilarious things.  I could write a whole book of just things you have said.

"It's a blustery day." -One day while it was cold and raining.
"I love you sweetie pie." -To your brother.

Disgusting is your new favorite word. You say it about everything.

You still are a very picky eater.  You will eat chicken nuggets sometimes.  Sometimes a piece of pizza.  You ask for noodles quite often.  Anything chocolate you are all about.

You love bedtime stories and your dream light. I hope you continue to love to read like your Daddy and I do.

You really enjoy school.  I hope it stays that way forever.
"Miss Bet-ny (Bethany) and Miss Amy are your favorites.

Every day is a talent show to you.  You sing about everything.  You twirl and spin and just sing your heart out.  Most recently you have started rhyming.  The words don't always make sense, but you love to make them rhyme.

You love church most of the time.  Last night you cried when it was time to leave.  I hope you always love church.  Of course it helps that Brayden's Daddy is the preacher.

You are an amazing big sister.  If we can't get to Bubba immediately you always talk to him and try to calm him down....and sometimes stuff a bottle in his face.

I can't believe in a few short months you are going to be 4 years old!  Such a big girl!

I love you bunches and bunches baby girl!



Thursday, January 24, 2013

Thankful Thursday 1/24/13

* Thankful for another healthy week in the Brigance Household.  (knock on wood) I know the week isn't over, but we've pretty much made it through 2 weeks with no one being sick.
Bubba still has some eczema on his head, but we keep putting cream on it so hopefully that will go away soon.
Miss Rosemay decided to walk UP the slide at school this week and fell off.  She got herself a pretty nice black eye, but has not complained about it once.

Lexi's black eye
*We dedicated the kids to the church on Sunday.  We promised to raise them in a Godly manner, and the church promised to help us.  It was a great service on the Sanctity of Life, and a great start to the week.


 What are you thankful for this week?
Don't forget to link up over at Baby Gator's Den!



Thursday, January 17, 2013

Thankful Thursday (1/17/13)

Even though I'm dog-tired and have a migraine, there is still so much to be thankful for.

This week I am thankful:

  • Bubba-Man slept through the night the past 3 nights.  (Me, that's another story)
  • We have gone a full week with neither child on an anti-biotic.
  • I have been healthy enough to make it to week for 4 straight weeks.
  • I have the freedoms to believe and support the things that touch my heart.
What are you thankful for this week?

Leave me a comment.  And don't forget to link up over at Baby Gator's Den.

And now, some cute pictures because I'm a bad blogger.  Hopefully my cute kids will make up for it.
                                                                       Me and Lexi

                                                                    His smile melts me

                                                  Who thinks Rex is going to have red hair?!?
                                Cousin Mattie and Rex were born 3 weeks apart.  Friends for life!
                                  This is how they treat me when I want to take their picture.  :P

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Depression-The Real Deal

This topic has been weighing heavily on my mind for a few days.  I'm not really sure why.  It kinda set in after Christmas.  My husband has talked about the "after Christmas blues" and I have always kind of blown it off.  I don't recall ever feeling that way.  But this year I did.  Wondering if I did enough to make Christmas special for my kids.  Sad that the season of giving was over. 

My battles with depression started around 2005-2006.  I was in a job that I hated, I couldn't get pregnant, and it seemed like nothing was going my way.  It took me a long time to recognize what was actually going on, but I finally got in to see my dr about it.  He diagnosed me with not only depression, but anxiety also.  I have taken a whole variety of medications over the years.  It seems like they work for a while and then lose effectiveness.  When I got pregnant I thought all the depression feelings would go away.  But it seemed like they got worse.  I took Prozac through my whole pregnancy with Lexi.  My dr and I discussed the options and felt like it would be healthier for me to stay on it.  It worked and all was well.  I battled post partum depression.  It was awful.  I contemplated suicide, and landed myself in the ER and subsequently a psychologist's office once a week for months.  Since I got it under control that time it has been pretty well maintained.  I won't say that I always have great days.  But, I definitely don't feel like that all the time. 

Why can't you just be happy?  I don't know.  I thought it was something I could talk myself through, pray myself through.  But it's not.  That may not be a favorable answer in the Christian community.  But, no amount of prayer alone is going to fix my depression.  There is something chemically wrong in my brain.  That's not an easy escape.  That's not me taking the easy way out.  That's how it is. 

But you have a perfect life. In many aspects, yes.  My life is perfect.  I have an amazing husband, two beautiful miracle babies, a dream job, and a home. Plus tons of family members who love and support me.  But that doesn't change what's going on in my head.  Becoming a mom probably made it worse.  Because not only do I have to worry about failing myself and my husband, but now I have to worry about failing my children.  All moms fail.  It's the #1 thing I would tell a new mom.  Get used to it.  You are going to always feel like you are failing your children.  We set too high of standards for ourselves.  Plain and simple.

What are your depression symptoms?  The number one thing for me is the overwhelming inability to get out of bed.  Literally.  For the past 7 years at least, I have woken up every morning and counted down the hours until I could go back to bed.  Sometimes I can't get out of bed.  That is weak of me.  But there are some days when I just can't do it.  Before Jacob and I had kids I would come home from work, shower, and go to bed.  He hated it.  It wasn't that I didn't want to be around him.  I just wanted to be alone. 
I'm not sure if insomnia is caused by depression but I sure as hell have it.  Sometimes it's worse than others...typically when I'm pregnant.  And that makes getting out of bed in the morning that much more fun.
I have taken handfuls of Tylenol pm just in the hopes to sleep for a few hours.  To no avail.  It just doesn't work.
Lack of interest is another big one.  I used to do things like scrapbook, crochet, craft.  Not anymore.  I will pick up my crochet occasionally, but not near as often as I used to. 

Sadly, I still fight these battles every single day.  I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.  I count down the hours until I can go back to bed.  I can say that I don't call into work anymore just because of depression.  I lost 2 jobs because of that.

I fight every day.   I fight to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.  But some days, it's fighting a losing battle.