Another year is almost over. How can that be possible? It seems like we were just about to ring in 2014! It has gone by so fast! But, I think overall 2014 has been a good year for us.
I turned 30 in January. I don't really feel 30 if that makes sense. I guess I always thought by the time I was 30 I would have everything figured out. Ya know...organized home, mom with a planner and crafts and everything together. But, alas, that is not how 30 turned out. Oh well.
Lexi turned 5 in May and started Kindergarten in August. It doesn't seem possible that my sweet little 5 pound miracle is in Kindergarten. And I hate to brag (no really I don't) but this girl is smart. She has always been smart. I used to call her baby genius. She was so scared to start Kindergarten because she didn't think she was smart enough to do it. But now she loves it. She is reading at least at a second grade level, and I couldn't be more proud of her. I love to see little parts of her personality start to grow and change...but it's still funny to see the things that stay the same. From the time she was born (4 weeks early) she has done things on her own time. She joined the world early, but didn't want to leave the NICU. She was adamant about using her preemie bottles up until the day she started using a sippy cup...which I had to hold like a bottle because she refused. She was content to sit on the floor and play with whatever she could reach. Crawling and walking just weren't priorities. She is the same today. Everything is on her time. She does not like to be woken up before she is ready. She stumbles out of the bedroom looking exactly like me in the mornings! I have to remind her over and over to get dressed, or eat breakfast, or brush her teeth, just so we can get out of the house in the mornings. She just does things on her timing.
Rex Allen turned 2 in September. And let me tell you, I just don't know how that is possible. Seems like he was just my spoiled little baby who needed to be held at all times. But now he's my spoiled big man. I have always felt guilty about going back to work after he was born, but it was something that had to be done. I was able to stay home for a year after Lexi was born, and I felt like I knew everything about her. With Rex, I felt like all his bonding was with Jacob. He was Daddy's boy all the way. But me being home with him all day for 5 months has changed that! We have gotten to know each other. He has learned how to push my buttons, and I have learned how to interpret his gibberish. I feel like we get each other now. And he definitely melts my heart with that ornery little smile.
In July I lost my job. I have felt every emotion possible about it. I have gone from feeling completely lost and broken, to feeling empowered and confident in new beginnings....and all the way back again.
My health has had highs and lows. Botox completely changed my life, and then changed it again when I lost my insurance.
I got to be there to welcome a new nephew into the world in April. And stand beside my sister as she married the love of her life in October.
We raised money and walked to end Alzheimers in memory of my Grandma. And we still miss her every single day.
Lots and lots of family time was enjoyed this year. This is something I can never get enough of. I feel like I thrive when I am surrounded by family. I never take enough pictures though, and should really make that a resolution for next year.
I got to spend an amazing long weekend in Alabama this summer with some of my very best girl friends. It was a long drive, and per the norm, I ended up as red as a lobster. But it was so great.
I have very close friends who have suffered extreme loss and pain this year. I wish I could take that away from them. I can only hope and pray that 2015 is a better year for them, and that their prayers are answered. At the same time, I have friends who have had their dreams come true, and their prayers answered this year. My heart couldn't be more happy for them.
I have been wanting to post pictures from all our Christmas celebrations, but I left my camera at my mom's house last weekend, so I haven't been able to load any of them. I promise that is coming!
No matter if 2014 was your best or worst year ever, I am praying for 2015 to bring all your greatest wishes!
Showing posts with label Alexia Rosemay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alexia Rosemay. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Letters to Lexi - January 2014
Lexi Rosemay,
You are 4 years and 7 months old. Even typing that right now, I can hardly believe it. It's been a while since I have written to you, so I hope I can remember everything that has gone on.
You are the BEST big sister! You are so helpful and you just love your brother so much.
You are in Pre-K this year and you are doing great! You surprise us every day with all the new things you are learning. Of course you know all your letters and numbers. But now you are starting to put sounds together and READ! The first things you read were colors. You read the colors in a color by number book. Then last week you read us a book you made at school. Just a little bit more practice and you will be a great reader. This excites Daddy and I because we love to read too.
You had a great Christmas. You were so happy with all of your gifts and told everyone thank you.
Santa couldn't fit a goldfish on his sleigh, so Mommy and Daddy had to take you to buy one. We actually bought 2! They are orange, so we named them Pistol and Pete.
You love the iPad, Luna (Lumia), your nab, and any phone you can get your hands on. You love to play games and watch Netflix.
You are really into my little pony right now, so you got a lot of ponies for Christmas. But you also love to watch Scooby doo before bed. So that should make your cousins Adam and James very happy.
You are the kindest little girl I have ever met. I joke about your attitude and how you are 4 going on 24, but it's not all bad. You can tell when someone is down and just needs a hug. You can tell when I don't feel good and you always tell me that I should go rest.
I love you with my whole heart! My most beautiful girl!
Love,
Mommy
You are 4 years and 7 months old. Even typing that right now, I can hardly believe it. It's been a while since I have written to you, so I hope I can remember everything that has gone on.
You are the BEST big sister! You are so helpful and you just love your brother so much.
You are in Pre-K this year and you are doing great! You surprise us every day with all the new things you are learning. Of course you know all your letters and numbers. But now you are starting to put sounds together and READ! The first things you read were colors. You read the colors in a color by number book. Then last week you read us a book you made at school. Just a little bit more practice and you will be a great reader. This excites Daddy and I because we love to read too.
You had a great Christmas. You were so happy with all of your gifts and told everyone thank you.
Santa couldn't fit a goldfish on his sleigh, so Mommy and Daddy had to take you to buy one. We actually bought 2! They are orange, so we named them Pistol and Pete.
You love the iPad, Luna (Lumia), your nab, and any phone you can get your hands on. You love to play games and watch Netflix.
You are really into my little pony right now, so you got a lot of ponies for Christmas. But you also love to watch Scooby doo before bed. So that should make your cousins Adam and James very happy.
You are the kindest little girl I have ever met. I joke about your attitude and how you are 4 going on 24, but it's not all bad. You can tell when someone is down and just needs a hug. You can tell when I don't feel good and you always tell me that I should go rest.
I love you with my whole heart! My most beautiful girl!
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Where have I been??
I don't even know where to start. I don't remember what my last blog was about, or even when it was.
I guess life just happened. My kids take up all my spare time. I rarely get on my laptop, and I hate to blog from my phone. :(
So, short updates:
Rex turned 1. We had an UNO themed party.
Pretty much all summer we battled with sick kids. Lexi would get sick, and when she would finally get better, Rex would get sick. Since August 29 the poor guy has had 6 back to back ear infections. Changing antibiotics every time. So we finally got a referral to get tubes. Of course this mommy was scared to let him go back, even for this very minor surgery. But our Pastor was there, he prayed with us, and stayed with us the whole time until they took us back to recovery. I was worried about how he would wake up because I have heard horror stories. But, when we got back there he was asleep. The sweet nurses had turned his glowbaby on next to him. She recommended that we let him wake up on his own because it's an easier transition. He slept for a couple minutes, then sat straight up in the bed and started clapping. They brought him some apple juice and he chugged that down. After 30 minutes we were free to go. By that afternoon you wouldn't have known he had surgery. He is 14 months old, and wasn't walking. Wasn't saying very many words. Within 3 days of the surgery he was taking steps. And now, 2 weeks later, you would think he had been walking his whole life! And saying so many more words!! I can't even begin to say how impressed I am with the tubes!
Lexi is in Pre-K. She has already started the whining in the morning about not wanting to go to school. But once she gets there, she loves it. She has 4 pages of homework for the week, and she usually does them all on Monday evening. Because she just loves to do the work. My next step for her will be getting her to read some sight words. She read colors to me out of a color by number book one day and I was amazed!! And she remembers everything! She notices everything. If I get a new shirt, she will be the first one to notice. Sometimes she wakes up in the morning while I'm getting ready for work. She is so sweet in the mornings. The first thing she says is "Hi Mommy!" We kiss and hug. And then she tells me how beautiful I look. She loves to mess around in my makeup drawer. And I even let her put on some light pink eyeshadow one day. Daddy didn't like that, and told her the next day that she couldn't do it. She was pretty sad. She is pretty independent. On the weekends, if she wakes up before Bubba, she gets her ipad and plays on it until the rest of the house is awakened by Rex's talking. He generally wakes up in a great mood also!
We started going back to church pretty regularly. We even joined the church, which meant for me to get baptized again, because I had not been baptized into a southern baptist church. They weren't saying my first baptism didn't count, just that this was a sign of my commitment to the church. We love it there. The kids love it there. Lexi is so upset if we can't go for some reason. She has learned some of the worship songs, and I love to hear her sweet little voice singing them.
I'm still working for Chart. I love it. And I love my position there. Of course if the right opportunity for promotion came along, I would be willing to take it.
I got Botox injections for my migraines. It has helped tremendously. I also got FMLA to cover my time off for my migraines. Yes, they were that bad. I will go back in January for more botox.
My baby sister is having another baby, and I'm so excited about that. They are fairly certain it's a boy. For now we are calling him "Baby B."
My sister that is 1 year younger than me is getting married!! We have all been waiting for that day! Her fiance is an amazing man that treats her like a queen. I couldn't be more happy to welcome him into our family. They've been together long enough though, that he's pretty much already family. He loves all of our kids, and spoils them like they are his own. I don't want to rush them, but I can't wait for them to start a little family!
Well, I think that should about catch you up. I still have some posts that I've been stirring around in my head. I just have to find the time to do it. But I will try to update more regularly....for the 2 of you that read this, lol!
I guess life just happened. My kids take up all my spare time. I rarely get on my laptop, and I hate to blog from my phone. :(
So, short updates:
Rex turned 1. We had an UNO themed party.
Pretty much all summer we battled with sick kids. Lexi would get sick, and when she would finally get better, Rex would get sick. Since August 29 the poor guy has had 6 back to back ear infections. Changing antibiotics every time. So we finally got a referral to get tubes. Of course this mommy was scared to let him go back, even for this very minor surgery. But our Pastor was there, he prayed with us, and stayed with us the whole time until they took us back to recovery. I was worried about how he would wake up because I have heard horror stories. But, when we got back there he was asleep. The sweet nurses had turned his glowbaby on next to him. She recommended that we let him wake up on his own because it's an easier transition. He slept for a couple minutes, then sat straight up in the bed and started clapping. They brought him some apple juice and he chugged that down. After 30 minutes we were free to go. By that afternoon you wouldn't have known he had surgery. He is 14 months old, and wasn't walking. Wasn't saying very many words. Within 3 days of the surgery he was taking steps. And now, 2 weeks later, you would think he had been walking his whole life! And saying so many more words!! I can't even begin to say how impressed I am with the tubes!
Lexi is in Pre-K. She has already started the whining in the morning about not wanting to go to school. But once she gets there, she loves it. She has 4 pages of homework for the week, and she usually does them all on Monday evening. Because she just loves to do the work. My next step for her will be getting her to read some sight words. She read colors to me out of a color by number book one day and I was amazed!! And she remembers everything! She notices everything. If I get a new shirt, she will be the first one to notice. Sometimes she wakes up in the morning while I'm getting ready for work. She is so sweet in the mornings. The first thing she says is "Hi Mommy!" We kiss and hug. And then she tells me how beautiful I look. She loves to mess around in my makeup drawer. And I even let her put on some light pink eyeshadow one day. Daddy didn't like that, and told her the next day that she couldn't do it. She was pretty sad. She is pretty independent. On the weekends, if she wakes up before Bubba, she gets her ipad and plays on it until the rest of the house is awakened by Rex's talking. He generally wakes up in a great mood also!
We started going back to church pretty regularly. We even joined the church, which meant for me to get baptized again, because I had not been baptized into a southern baptist church. They weren't saying my first baptism didn't count, just that this was a sign of my commitment to the church. We love it there. The kids love it there. Lexi is so upset if we can't go for some reason. She has learned some of the worship songs, and I love to hear her sweet little voice singing them.
I'm still working for Chart. I love it. And I love my position there. Of course if the right opportunity for promotion came along, I would be willing to take it.
I got Botox injections for my migraines. It has helped tremendously. I also got FMLA to cover my time off for my migraines. Yes, they were that bad. I will go back in January for more botox.
My baby sister is having another baby, and I'm so excited about that. They are fairly certain it's a boy. For now we are calling him "Baby B."
My sister that is 1 year younger than me is getting married!! We have all been waiting for that day! Her fiance is an amazing man that treats her like a queen. I couldn't be more happy to welcome him into our family. They've been together long enough though, that he's pretty much already family. He loves all of our kids, and spoils them like they are his own. I don't want to rush them, but I can't wait for them to start a little family!
Well, I think that should about catch you up. I still have some posts that I've been stirring around in my head. I just have to find the time to do it. But I will try to update more regularly....for the 2 of you that read this, lol!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
It's been a while...
I know, I know...I can't expect my blog to grow if I never update it. So what has kept me away? One word...life. Life happens and there are only so many hours in the day to get things done. So this blog gets neglected. Starting next week (I need to be able to start on Sundays) I will have better things coming. For now, let's do a little catching up.
Rex Allen turned one on September 7th! I can't believe my tiny boy is now a 1 year old.
We had an UNO themed party that I saw on pinterest. As soon as I saw it, I had to run with it. My mom made the cakes, my sister made the Happy Birthday Banner, and I threw everything else together. I'll do a separate post with all the pictures and details.
On May 30, we lost my Grandma, my Mom's Mom. She fought a long and hard battle with Alzheimer's and dementia. She suffered a massive stroke and heart attack that day, and though the decision was hard, we knew she was tired of fighting. I still haven't been able to blog about her yet because the emotions are still so raw.
My pain is overwhelming. On good days I can make it through half a day of work. On really good days, I can make it all day. On really bad days, I can't get out of bed. Pre-Approval for Botox injections is still tied up with the insurance. They have to approve it before I can get it done, because I can not pay out of pocket for it. It's been over 2 months now that I have been waiting and given the run-around. I'm about to give up on it all together.
For the most part work is ok. There are obviously attendance issues because I miss A LOT of work due to pain. But, I have been there long enough that I qualified for intermittent FMLA. So many hours per year that I can use for my illness. It protects me from getting fired for my attendance. I'm not abusing it just because I have it. My end goal is to work 40 hours a week. There just are times when that can't happen.
Lexi started Pre-K in August. She loves it. But she has always loved doing school work. She even gets to ride the school bus from her school to Daddy's office after school.
The Christmas season is approaching and I still have no idea where the money is going to come from. I'm going to be helping my mom out with some crafts, so she is going to give me a portion of the sales.
So hang with me. Share the blog with your friends. 'Cause there are going to be some great things coming up soon!
Rex Allen turned one on September 7th! I can't believe my tiny boy is now a 1 year old.
On May 30, we lost my Grandma, my Mom's Mom. She fought a long and hard battle with Alzheimer's and dementia. She suffered a massive stroke and heart attack that day, and though the decision was hard, we knew she was tired of fighting. I still haven't been able to blog about her yet because the emotions are still so raw.
My pain is overwhelming. On good days I can make it through half a day of work. On really good days, I can make it all day. On really bad days, I can't get out of bed. Pre-Approval for Botox injections is still tied up with the insurance. They have to approve it before I can get it done, because I can not pay out of pocket for it. It's been over 2 months now that I have been waiting and given the run-around. I'm about to give up on it all together.
For the most part work is ok. There are obviously attendance issues because I miss A LOT of work due to pain. But, I have been there long enough that I qualified for intermittent FMLA. So many hours per year that I can use for my illness. It protects me from getting fired for my attendance. I'm not abusing it just because I have it. My end goal is to work 40 hours a week. There just are times when that can't happen.
Lexi started Pre-K in August. She loves it. But she has always loved doing school work. She even gets to ride the school bus from her school to Daddy's office after school.
The Christmas season is approaching and I still have no idea where the money is going to come from. I'm going to be helping my mom out with some crafts, so she is going to give me a portion of the sales.
So hang with me. Share the blog with your friends. 'Cause there are going to be some great things coming up soon!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Letters to Lexi 5/28/13
Alexia Rosemay,
You are 4 (!) years old now! I can't believe it. Time has flown by.
For your actual birthday you took cookies to school for your class. Then later we had a birthday party for your family. This year you picked princesses. It makes me so very happy that you are a girly girl! You love all things girly...princesses, jewelry, makeup, fingernail polish, shoes, purses, dresses, barbies. You were sick at your birthday party, so you didn't have the best time. But you still got to play with your cousins and friends. Nanny made your birthday cake. It had a real tiara and princess wand on it! And the cake was pink!
You love your baby brother so much! If he's crying you try to calm him down by talking to him or singing to him. If there's a bottle ready you will try to feed him. You are very good about keeping him safe. You always keep all your little toys put away so that he doesn't choke on them. In the past couple weeks you have learned that you can pick him up from laying to sitting, and laying him back down. It kind of scares me, but you try to be gentle. You are so ready for him to be able to get up and run and play with you.
You are ready to go to big school next year. You passed your evaluations with flying colors! You are such a smart girl. You use big words in sentences.
You are a master at working not only the ipad, kindle fire, and phones...but now you love the laptop!
You are addicted to netflix. :) My little pony is your favorite!
You got a bike for your birthday so we have been practicing riding it. You love to be outside. We have been going on family walks lately and you love that too.
After I had my surgery you were so worried about me. And even now after I've recovered you still tell me to be careful of "that belly." You have a heart of gold. And it wouldn't surprise me if you decide that you are going to be a dr, nurse, or teacher when you grow up. Whatever you decide, you will be great at it!
I love you baby girl! You are the sunshine in my day!
Love,
Mommy
You are 4 (!) years old now! I can't believe it. Time has flown by.
For your actual birthday you took cookies to school for your class. Then later we had a birthday party for your family. This year you picked princesses. It makes me so very happy that you are a girly girl! You love all things girly...princesses, jewelry, makeup, fingernail polish, shoes, purses, dresses, barbies. You were sick at your birthday party, so you didn't have the best time. But you still got to play with your cousins and friends. Nanny made your birthday cake. It had a real tiara and princess wand on it! And the cake was pink!
You love your baby brother so much! If he's crying you try to calm him down by talking to him or singing to him. If there's a bottle ready you will try to feed him. You are very good about keeping him safe. You always keep all your little toys put away so that he doesn't choke on them. In the past couple weeks you have learned that you can pick him up from laying to sitting, and laying him back down. It kind of scares me, but you try to be gentle. You are so ready for him to be able to get up and run and play with you.
You are ready to go to big school next year. You passed your evaluations with flying colors! You are such a smart girl. You use big words in sentences.
You are a master at working not only the ipad, kindle fire, and phones...but now you love the laptop!
You are addicted to netflix. :) My little pony is your favorite!
You got a bike for your birthday so we have been practicing riding it. You love to be outside. We have been going on family walks lately and you love that too.
After I had my surgery you were so worried about me. And even now after I've recovered you still tell me to be careful of "that belly." You have a heart of gold. And it wouldn't surprise me if you decide that you are going to be a dr, nurse, or teacher when you grow up. Whatever you decide, you will be great at it!
I love you baby girl! You are the sunshine in my day!
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
What happened?
Ok, first I want to apologize for the death of my blog the past month. I really did have a goal to blog at least 3 times a week, but it just didn't happen. My new favorite saying is "life happens." And that is definitely the case here. So, let's go back a while...I'll try to lay it out for you with dates.
Monday April 8--Rex has a fever. He went to school, but then Jacob had to pick him up and take him to the dr. He had double ear infections. I left work around noon to go home and cuddle him. Around 3 I noticed his breathing seemed kind of labored so I called the dr and then took him back in. He listened to his lungs again and they still sounded clear. He was just so congested that he was having a hard time breathing.
Tuesday April 9--The rule at the school is that you have to be fever free for 24 hours before you come back. And even though he wasn't contagious, the dr recommended some tlc for Rex, so I stayed home with him again.
Wednesday April 10--I think this was a pretty normal day. I went to work and the kids went to school.
Thursday April 11--I woke up in the morning with what I thought was gas pain. I had been having this pain on and off for a few months. I always just took some zantac and gas-x and it seemed to help. So, before I left for work I took some gas-x and threw some extra ones in my purse. I got to work and the pain started getting worse. I took zantac and more gas-x and it didn't seem to help. Then I started throwing up. So, I left to go back home. The drive home was miserable. I was in so much pain...one time I literally screamed out. Got home and drank some mylanta...texted a few nurse friends, and just tried to find anything that would give me some relief. I threw up a couple more times...this time it was really black and just nasty looking (sorry for the description!) I thought maybe if I could fall asleep it would be better, so I took some benadryl and finally fell asleep with the heating pad on my belly. I woke up when Jacob and the kids got home, but I was still in a lot of pain. I couldn't stand and walk upright. Jacob wanted to take me to urgent care, but I told him no because I would be really embarrassed if they did an xray and it was just gas!
Friday April 12--The pain was a tad bit better, but I still stayed home from work. It was Jacob's birthday and I felt terrible that I couldn't really help him with the kids when he got home from work. And I couldn't cook him dinner or do anything special for him. For some reason Lexi asked to sleep with me that night. She hasn't slept with me since I was pregnant with Rex. Even though it was his birthday, Jacob agreed to sleep in the guest room and let her sleep with me. My sweet Lexi, with her kind, gentle spirit. I think she knew that I needed a nurse that night. She took good care of me!
Saturday April 13--Once again the pain was a little better, but not a whole lot. Jacob told me that I didn't have an option, we were going to urgent care. Because there's no way gas pain was lasting that long. By this time, from talking to people and googling lots of stuff, I had decided it was either my gall bladder or my appendix. At the urgent care the dr came in and talked to me about all my symptoms. He had me lay down on the table and he started pressing on my belly. I literally had to hold back a groan when he pushed on the middle right where it was hurting the worst. He agreed that he thought it was my gall bladder. They don't have an ultrasound machine to look though, so he would have to get me a referral to an imaging center....and that couldn't happen 'til Monday. He did some bloodwork and gave me some pain medicine through an IV. The bloodwork came back pretty normal, so he didn't think I needed to rush to the ER or anything, but he did say that if the pain got any worse before Monday to just go to the ER because they would be able to look at it.
Sunday April 14--Jacob and the kids went to church. I was still in too much pain to do anything. Jacob and his mom were supposed to go to his Great-Aunt's house to clean up some stuff (she had just passed away recently). I was texting and calling my mom and sisters and I/we/they decided that it really couldn't wait any longer. I texted Jacob and told him that someone was going to have to take me to the ER. Thankfully (again) I have an awesome husband and Mother-In-Law who rearranged their plans so he could take me in. When he got home from church I was laying in the fetal position in bed. I threw some clothes on and we hit the road. We chose to go to a closer hospital than the one I had delivered Rex at, because it's smaller and we figured the ER wait wouldn't be as long. We got checked in and taken back to a room. After explaining everything to the nurse and the dr, he ordered an ultrasound. He also ordered some IV pain meds, but they didn't make it to me before I went to the ultrasound, unfortunately. It was VERY uncomfortable. They brought in IV morphine and gave it to me. What I don't remember, is that morphine doesn't really last very long for me. Like 15 minutes max. My Mother-In-Law remembered this though and was telling Jacob over the phone that I needed something else. The dr came in and told me that my gall bladder needed to come out. I had gall stones, and the lining to the gall bladder was thickened. They got me checked in upstairs for the night and I would see the surgeon in the morning.
Monday April 15--The surgeon came in and explained everything to me and gave me some options. We opted to have the surgery that day at 2:00, so then the waiting game began. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since midnight...and I hadn't really eaten anything since the previous Wednesday. So after waiting forever in the pre-op room I finally went to surgery. This was my first surgery and it was definitely a different experience. The big room...people milling around...laying on the table. I remember waking up in a lot of pain. I was sitting up and they were giving me a breathing treatment. She kept telling me to take deep breaths, but it hurt so bad! She gave me some ice chips and they moved me back to my room. When I got back to my room, I guess they asked me what my pain level was and I said 5. I don't remember that, it's just what Kristin and Jacob told me. I was really really tired and just wanted to sleep, but they wanted me to get up and try to use the bathroom. When I stood up that's when the real pain hit. I had 2 or 3 people help me to the bathroom. Then getting back to bed the same thing. I asked when I would get to go home, because with laparascopic surgery you generally get to go home later the same day. All they told me was not today. I remember being really upset that I was going to have to stay.
Tuesday April 16--I was still in a fog a lot of this day. Anesthesia hits me really hard and takes me a few days to really get over it. I would just be sitting there and drift off to sleep. I was still on a liquid diet, so every day breakfast, lunch, and dinner was broth. I was drinking tea at lunch and literally fell asleep holding the cup and spilled it on myself. The pain was still really severe, especially when I had to get up. When I would make it back to the bed I would be shaking because I was in so much pain. They were alternating between IV morphine, and oral pain meds. My gall bladder was in really bad shape when they got in there. There was a lot of fluid/blood around the gallbladder and my liver. They had to put in a JP drain to keep draining some of the fluid off. That was really uncomfortable. They did more bloodwork, and my liver enzymes were still elevated, so they told me I still wouldn't be able to go home. :(
Wednesday April 17--I finally got to go home this day!! It was evening before I was able to be released. They came and pulled the drain out. It didn't hurt, just felt kind of odd. There were 2 student nurses, and then my nurse in the room. I guess when they pulled the drain there was a lot of fluid that was still seeping out. The student nurses kind of panicked, which alarmed me. My nurse went to find the surgeon. He said it was pretty common, just to cover it with gauze. So once they got me bandaged up and released, we headed to Target to get my prescription filled. I walked into Target which really was not the best idea, but I didn't want to sit in the car. I still couldn't walk upright and was in a lot of pain.
I took Thursday and Friday off from work. By Saturday I was getting around a little better. Went to church Sunday and everyone was surprised to see me. But standing and getting up and down at church was too much for me. I was in a lot of pain and exhausted by that night. I went back to work on Monday.
So now you're pretty caught up! Sorry it was such a long entry, but I wanted to put everything in there.
I would like to thank everyone who came to see me while I was in the hospital! Thank you to my amazing pastor who came to pray with me before they took me back.
What's next for the blog?
Favorite baby items
Lexi turns 4
Monday April 8--Rex has a fever. He went to school, but then Jacob had to pick him up and take him to the dr. He had double ear infections. I left work around noon to go home and cuddle him. Around 3 I noticed his breathing seemed kind of labored so I called the dr and then took him back in. He listened to his lungs again and they still sounded clear. He was just so congested that he was having a hard time breathing.
Tuesday April 9--The rule at the school is that you have to be fever free for 24 hours before you come back. And even though he wasn't contagious, the dr recommended some tlc for Rex, so I stayed home with him again.
Wednesday April 10--I think this was a pretty normal day. I went to work and the kids went to school.
Thursday April 11--I woke up in the morning with what I thought was gas pain. I had been having this pain on and off for a few months. I always just took some zantac and gas-x and it seemed to help. So, before I left for work I took some gas-x and threw some extra ones in my purse. I got to work and the pain started getting worse. I took zantac and more gas-x and it didn't seem to help. Then I started throwing up. So, I left to go back home. The drive home was miserable. I was in so much pain...one time I literally screamed out. Got home and drank some mylanta...texted a few nurse friends, and just tried to find anything that would give me some relief. I threw up a couple more times...this time it was really black and just nasty looking (sorry for the description!) I thought maybe if I could fall asleep it would be better, so I took some benadryl and finally fell asleep with the heating pad on my belly. I woke up when Jacob and the kids got home, but I was still in a lot of pain. I couldn't stand and walk upright. Jacob wanted to take me to urgent care, but I told him no because I would be really embarrassed if they did an xray and it was just gas!
Friday April 12--The pain was a tad bit better, but I still stayed home from work. It was Jacob's birthday and I felt terrible that I couldn't really help him with the kids when he got home from work. And I couldn't cook him dinner or do anything special for him. For some reason Lexi asked to sleep with me that night. She hasn't slept with me since I was pregnant with Rex. Even though it was his birthday, Jacob agreed to sleep in the guest room and let her sleep with me. My sweet Lexi, with her kind, gentle spirit. I think she knew that I needed a nurse that night. She took good care of me!
Saturday April 13--Once again the pain was a little better, but not a whole lot. Jacob told me that I didn't have an option, we were going to urgent care. Because there's no way gas pain was lasting that long. By this time, from talking to people and googling lots of stuff, I had decided it was either my gall bladder or my appendix. At the urgent care the dr came in and talked to me about all my symptoms. He had me lay down on the table and he started pressing on my belly. I literally had to hold back a groan when he pushed on the middle right where it was hurting the worst. He agreed that he thought it was my gall bladder. They don't have an ultrasound machine to look though, so he would have to get me a referral to an imaging center....and that couldn't happen 'til Monday. He did some bloodwork and gave me some pain medicine through an IV. The bloodwork came back pretty normal, so he didn't think I needed to rush to the ER or anything, but he did say that if the pain got any worse before Monday to just go to the ER because they would be able to look at it.
Sunday April 14--Jacob and the kids went to church. I was still in too much pain to do anything. Jacob and his mom were supposed to go to his Great-Aunt's house to clean up some stuff (she had just passed away recently). I was texting and calling my mom and sisters and I/we/they decided that it really couldn't wait any longer. I texted Jacob and told him that someone was going to have to take me to the ER. Thankfully (again) I have an awesome husband and Mother-In-Law who rearranged their plans so he could take me in. When he got home from church I was laying in the fetal position in bed. I threw some clothes on and we hit the road. We chose to go to a closer hospital than the one I had delivered Rex at, because it's smaller and we figured the ER wait wouldn't be as long. We got checked in and taken back to a room. After explaining everything to the nurse and the dr, he ordered an ultrasound. He also ordered some IV pain meds, but they didn't make it to me before I went to the ultrasound, unfortunately. It was VERY uncomfortable. They brought in IV morphine and gave it to me. What I don't remember, is that morphine doesn't really last very long for me. Like 15 minutes max. My Mother-In-Law remembered this though and was telling Jacob over the phone that I needed something else. The dr came in and told me that my gall bladder needed to come out. I had gall stones, and the lining to the gall bladder was thickened. They got me checked in upstairs for the night and I would see the surgeon in the morning.
Monday April 15--The surgeon came in and explained everything to me and gave me some options. We opted to have the surgery that day at 2:00, so then the waiting game began. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since midnight...and I hadn't really eaten anything since the previous Wednesday. So after waiting forever in the pre-op room I finally went to surgery. This was my first surgery and it was definitely a different experience. The big room...people milling around...laying on the table. I remember waking up in a lot of pain. I was sitting up and they were giving me a breathing treatment. She kept telling me to take deep breaths, but it hurt so bad! She gave me some ice chips and they moved me back to my room. When I got back to my room, I guess they asked me what my pain level was and I said 5. I don't remember that, it's just what Kristin and Jacob told me. I was really really tired and just wanted to sleep, but they wanted me to get up and try to use the bathroom. When I stood up that's when the real pain hit. I had 2 or 3 people help me to the bathroom. Then getting back to bed the same thing. I asked when I would get to go home, because with laparascopic surgery you generally get to go home later the same day. All they told me was not today. I remember being really upset that I was going to have to stay.
Tuesday April 16--I was still in a fog a lot of this day. Anesthesia hits me really hard and takes me a few days to really get over it. I would just be sitting there and drift off to sleep. I was still on a liquid diet, so every day breakfast, lunch, and dinner was broth. I was drinking tea at lunch and literally fell asleep holding the cup and spilled it on myself. The pain was still really severe, especially when I had to get up. When I would make it back to the bed I would be shaking because I was in so much pain. They were alternating between IV morphine, and oral pain meds. My gall bladder was in really bad shape when they got in there. There was a lot of fluid/blood around the gallbladder and my liver. They had to put in a JP drain to keep draining some of the fluid off. That was really uncomfortable. They did more bloodwork, and my liver enzymes were still elevated, so they told me I still wouldn't be able to go home. :(
Wednesday April 17--I finally got to go home this day!! It was evening before I was able to be released. They came and pulled the drain out. It didn't hurt, just felt kind of odd. There were 2 student nurses, and then my nurse in the room. I guess when they pulled the drain there was a lot of fluid that was still seeping out. The student nurses kind of panicked, which alarmed me. My nurse went to find the surgeon. He said it was pretty common, just to cover it with gauze. So once they got me bandaged up and released, we headed to Target to get my prescription filled. I walked into Target which really was not the best idea, but I didn't want to sit in the car. I still couldn't walk upright and was in a lot of pain.
I took Thursday and Friday off from work. By Saturday I was getting around a little better. Went to church Sunday and everyone was surprised to see me. But standing and getting up and down at church was too much for me. I was in a lot of pain and exhausted by that night. I went back to work on Monday.
So now you're pretty caught up! Sorry it was such a long entry, but I wanted to put everything in there.
I would like to thank everyone who came to see me while I was in the hospital! Thank you to my amazing pastor who came to pray with me before they took me back.
What's next for the blog?
Favorite baby items
Lexi turns 4
Monday, March 11, 2013
Letters to Lexi 3/11/13
Lexi Rosemay,
Do you know how much I love you? I hope you never wonder. I hope you go to bed at night and have sweet dreams knowing how loved you truly are.
You are the sweetest girl I've ever met. And I'm not just saying that. You have the kindest heart. If someone else is hurt, you hurt for them. You hated it when you saw Bubba's bandaids the other day when he got shots. You asked me if they hurt. I told you that they probably did. You just kissed him and talked to him and told him you were sorry he had to get shots.
I love to see your smiling face come walking into the bedroom in the morning. Most mornings I'm awake and getting ready for work. You come in and stand and watch me.
Do you know how much I hate to leave you to go to work? On the rare occassion when you get upset when I leave, it breaks my heart. But I know you have fun with your friends at school.
You get so excited when I get home from work. Always telling me, "I'm so glad you're here."
I was worried that you would not understand having a baby in the house. But you do. You get it. You are such a big helper!
Do you know that I come in and watch you sleep? I come in and kiss your cheeks, cover you up, and smile. You are like an angel when you sleep.
You're almost 4 and I can't believe it!
I found some of your school work last night. You had written your name, and then written MOM and DAD. I couldn't believe it! You are just so smart. Your teachers next year are going to have a handful with you!
You sing and talk all day long. It amazes me. You can turn anything into a song. And you are starting to figure out how to make things rhyme. Sometimes the words don't make sense, but you are rhyming!
I love you so much big girl!
Love,
Mommy
Do you know how much I love you? I hope you never wonder. I hope you go to bed at night and have sweet dreams knowing how loved you truly are.
You are the sweetest girl I've ever met. And I'm not just saying that. You have the kindest heart. If someone else is hurt, you hurt for them. You hated it when you saw Bubba's bandaids the other day when he got shots. You asked me if they hurt. I told you that they probably did. You just kissed him and talked to him and told him you were sorry he had to get shots.
I love to see your smiling face come walking into the bedroom in the morning. Most mornings I'm awake and getting ready for work. You come in and stand and watch me.
Do you know how much I hate to leave you to go to work? On the rare occassion when you get upset when I leave, it breaks my heart. But I know you have fun with your friends at school.
You get so excited when I get home from work. Always telling me, "I'm so glad you're here."
I was worried that you would not understand having a baby in the house. But you do. You get it. You are such a big helper!
Do you know that I come in and watch you sleep? I come in and kiss your cheeks, cover you up, and smile. You are like an angel when you sleep.
You're almost 4 and I can't believe it!
I found some of your school work last night. You had written your name, and then written MOM and DAD. I couldn't believe it! You are just so smart. Your teachers next year are going to have a handful with you!
You sing and talk all day long. It amazes me. You can turn anything into a song. And you are starting to figure out how to make things rhyme. Sometimes the words don't make sense, but you are rhyming!
I love you so much big girl!
Love,
Mommy
Monday, January 28, 2013
Letter's to Lexi 1/28/13
My Lexi Rosemay,
You are the sweetest girl I have ever met. I can't believe I am blessed to be your Mommy. You make every day worth getting out of bed.
Lately you say the most hilarious things. I could write a whole book of just things you have said.
"It's a blustery day." -One day while it was cold and raining.
"I love you sweetie pie." -To your brother.
Disgusting is your new favorite word. You say it about everything.
You still are a very picky eater. You will eat chicken nuggets sometimes. Sometimes a piece of pizza. You ask for noodles quite often. Anything chocolate you are all about.
You love bedtime stories and your dream light. I hope you continue to love to read like your Daddy and I do.
You really enjoy school. I hope it stays that way forever.
"Miss Bet-ny (Bethany) and Miss Amy are your favorites.
Every day is a talent show to you. You sing about everything. You twirl and spin and just sing your heart out. Most recently you have started rhyming. The words don't always make sense, but you love to make them rhyme.
You love church most of the time. Last night you cried when it was time to leave. I hope you always love church. Of course it helps that Brayden's Daddy is the preacher.
You are an amazing big sister. If we can't get to Bubba immediately you always talk to him and try to calm him down....and sometimes stuff a bottle in his face.
I can't believe in a few short months you are going to be 4 years old! Such a big girl!
I love you bunches and bunches baby girl!
Love,
Mommy
You are the sweetest girl I have ever met. I can't believe I am blessed to be your Mommy. You make every day worth getting out of bed.
Lately you say the most hilarious things. I could write a whole book of just things you have said.
"It's a blustery day." -One day while it was cold and raining.
"I love you sweetie pie." -To your brother.
Disgusting is your new favorite word. You say it about everything.
You still are a very picky eater. You will eat chicken nuggets sometimes. Sometimes a piece of pizza. You ask for noodles quite often. Anything chocolate you are all about.
You love bedtime stories and your dream light. I hope you continue to love to read like your Daddy and I do.
You really enjoy school. I hope it stays that way forever.
"Miss Bet-ny (Bethany) and Miss Amy are your favorites.
Every day is a talent show to you. You sing about everything. You twirl and spin and just sing your heart out. Most recently you have started rhyming. The words don't always make sense, but you love to make them rhyme.
You love church most of the time. Last night you cried when it was time to leave. I hope you always love church. Of course it helps that Brayden's Daddy is the preacher.
You are an amazing big sister. If we can't get to Bubba immediately you always talk to him and try to calm him down....and sometimes stuff a bottle in his face.
I can't believe in a few short months you are going to be 4 years old! Such a big girl!
I love you bunches and bunches baby girl!
Love,
Mommy
Friday, November 30, 2012
Time to Catch Up
Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged. But, I have been a little busy. So what's new?
We spent a night in the children's hospital with Rex. I don't recommend it. All is fine with him now, and thank God we only had to stay that one night.
I'm back at work. Things are crazy. Trying to catch up on everything that accumulated while I was gone.
We had an amazing Halloween. Rex slept the whole night in his carseat, but he made an adorable little skeleton. Lexi was Cinderella. She loved the fact that she could wear her costume to school, but was very sad when she couldn't wear it again the next day. She is in love with all things Princess right now.
We spent Thanksgiving in Cherokee, OK with my Mom's side of the family. We had a great time. Lots of babies in our family this year. There were 4 there on that day, with 1 more missing.
We went Black Friday shopping on Friday evening when we got home. Guess what?!? There were still some great bargains, and not hardly any shoppers. Not to mention the fact that Target started their sales on Wednesday, so I got a great deal on board games for all the nieces and nephews. It's nice to have a dent in my Christmas shopping so early. The past few years I have been a Christmas Eve shopper...and I don't really like that. Every year I vow to start buying things at the beginning of the year...and I never do. Maybe 2013 is the year?!
I can't believe tomorrow is December 1st! Bring on the Christmas season. We got some lights up on the house. Jacob and I are somewhat of "Griswolds" so of course we would love to have more. Being this is our first year in this house we are testing the water on what all we can do. I'm so excited to get all my Christmas decorations out. Since we didn't have a house last year I didn't get to decorate. So, I'm so excited to decorate my very own house this year. And I'm sure Lexi will enjoy it also. She is so excited about Christmas-time already also.
Rex has started sleeping a little better...knock on wood....he gets up 1-2 times a night, versus every 2 hours he was doing up until about 2 weeks ago. Jacob and I are definitely enjoying the extra sleep.
Keep checking the blog, because I have lots of great ideas!
~~Danielle~~
We spent a night in the children's hospital with Rex. I don't recommend it. All is fine with him now, and thank God we only had to stay that one night.
I'm back at work. Things are crazy. Trying to catch up on everything that accumulated while I was gone.
We had an amazing Halloween. Rex slept the whole night in his carseat, but he made an adorable little skeleton. Lexi was Cinderella. She loved the fact that she could wear her costume to school, but was very sad when she couldn't wear it again the next day. She is in love with all things Princess right now.
We spent Thanksgiving in Cherokee, OK with my Mom's side of the family. We had a great time. Lots of babies in our family this year. There were 4 there on that day, with 1 more missing.
We went Black Friday shopping on Friday evening when we got home. Guess what?!? There were still some great bargains, and not hardly any shoppers. Not to mention the fact that Target started their sales on Wednesday, so I got a great deal on board games for all the nieces and nephews. It's nice to have a dent in my Christmas shopping so early. The past few years I have been a Christmas Eve shopper...and I don't really like that. Every year I vow to start buying things at the beginning of the year...and I never do. Maybe 2013 is the year?!
I can't believe tomorrow is December 1st! Bring on the Christmas season. We got some lights up on the house. Jacob and I are somewhat of "Griswolds" so of course we would love to have more. Being this is our first year in this house we are testing the water on what all we can do. I'm so excited to get all my Christmas decorations out. Since we didn't have a house last year I didn't get to decorate. So, I'm so excited to decorate my very own house this year. And I'm sure Lexi will enjoy it also. She is so excited about Christmas-time already also.
Rex has started sleeping a little better...knock on wood....he gets up 1-2 times a night, versus every 2 hours he was doing up until about 2 weeks ago. Jacob and I are definitely enjoying the extra sleep.
Keep checking the blog, because I have lots of great ideas!
~~Danielle~~
Monday, September 3, 2012
36 weeks
Wow. 36 weeks. That's 2 days longer than I made it with Lexi. To some it isn't a big deal, to me, it means everything. When I went on hospital bedrest with Lexi 3 years ago the only thing that kept me going was knowing that when I left that hospital I would have a sweet baby girl in my arms. I was admitted on a Monday. On Saturday night I was begging God to make it be over. I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I was alone all the time. I don't know. I can't explain it now. I just know that being in the hospital is miserable and I was totally done with it. I had Lexi the next day. Maybe God heard my prayers. Maybe He knew that I really really couldn't do it anymore. Maybe it was just fate. Either way, at 35 weeks and 5 days Alexia Rosemay entered this world at 5lb 5oz and 17 3/4 inches long. I didn't know at the time that my hospital had an automatic NICU stay for every baby born before 36 weeks. So minutes before I had her, in swooped a whole team of people. They let me see her and touch her face and kiss her before they whisked her off to the NICU. Jacob went with her and I went back to my room. She breathed good. She looked good. They gave her a binky almost immediately because she just wanted something to suck on. But she wouldn't eat very good at first. So they put a feeding tube in. It took her a couple days to start taking all her feeds by mouth and for them to remove the tube. Then she wouldn't keep her body temperature up. For those 9 days that she was there, we couldn't take her out and hold her whenever we wanted. We could take her out to feed her, hold her for a little bit, and then put her back in. And she had to be wrapped up completely the whole time. If her temperature wasn't good, then we couldn't take her out and feed her. She could be out of the isolette for like 45 minutes tops. Leaving her in the hospital alone every night was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life.
What all this rambling leads to is:
No matter how much I talk about being miserable right now
No matter how much I think I can't do this for one more second
I HAVE TO. AND I WILL.
I know how lucky I am to even be pregnant right now, and I don't take that for granted at all. And I know that every day longer that Rex bakes will make his grand entrance and his life, that much easier. And for one of my children, I will do anything...anything!
What all this rambling leads to is:
No matter how much I talk about being miserable right now
No matter how much I think I can't do this for one more second
I HAVE TO. AND I WILL.
I know how lucky I am to even be pregnant right now, and I don't take that for granted at all. And I know that every day longer that Rex bakes will make his grand entrance and his life, that much easier. And for one of my children, I will do anything...anything!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
PCOS: My story
Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which
a woman has an imbalance of a female sex hormones. This may lead to
menstrual cycle changes, cysts in the ovaries, trouble
getting pregnant, and other health changes.—ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
When I started typing up
this blog post I thought I was going to go more in the direction of scientific
facts about PCOS. But, the more I think
about it, the more that’s not what I want it to be about. I am open to answering any questions about
PCOS, and it’s symptoms, but I want to tell my story.
Before PCOS I never
questioned the fact that I would be a mother.
It’s something all little girls dream of. Once I started college I knew there was
something wrong with my periods but I didn’t know what. I was fairly active in high school, playing
softball, and I knew that or the change of pace to college life, could change
my cycles. It finally got out of control
and my mom took me to an ob/gyn. One of
her friends was a receptionist there, that’s how we picked the place. He did a
routine first gynecology exam. He put me
on birth control because I wasn’t married and not trying to have kids. He told me once I was ready to come back and
we would discuss doing something different.
The birth control stabilized my cycles, but it also made me crazy. At the time I was young and didn’t realize
there are so many different kinds of birth control. Or the fact that I could just call up the dr.
and say I didn’t like the side effects and ask for something different.
Fast forward to 2005. I had stopped taking the birth control
because my prescription ran out, I believe.
I had gotten married in October so I knew if I got pregnant I would be
fine with it. In December I found myself
pregnant. A few days later I found
myself in the ER having the worst experience of my life. I had been at work and was bleeding and
cramping, both heavily. By the time I
got to the ER the bleeding has slowed tremendously, but I still had no doubt
that something was wrong. They took me
to do an ultrasound, of the trans-vaginal variety. I remember the tech asking me to insert the
wand into myself. I said “excuse
me?” She said that was the way I gave my
consent. I would much rather have signed
a form. There was no sign of a
baby. I had already lost it. They gave me some pain pills after my mother
in law demanded them, signed a form for me to have a day off work, and sent me
home. On that day, my life changed
completely. I will never be the
same. The innocence was gone.
After we took a break for a
while, we decided we were ready to actually try again for a baby. I went back and the dr. told me to try 3
months without taking birth control and then we would do further testing. I knew this wouldn’t work because I had been
without birth control for a while. And
my period was pretty much a non-stop thing.
But, I did what he said. When I
went back and did the further testing he told me that I had PCOS, polycystic
ovary syndrome. I immediately went to
the internet to look it up. It was a
“duh” moment. I had almost every symptom
on the list. Why had no one ever
suggested that I had this? But alas, you
take some pills, ovulate, and get pregnant.
This wasn’t the end of the road.
He prescribed clomid for me to take at the beginning of my cycle. That with timed intercourse would do the
trick. It was around this time that I
got hardcore into tracking my cycle, and temping. I went back for CD13 (cycle day 13)
bloodwork. He called me the next day to
tell me that I had definitely ovulated.
Now to just wait to find out if I was pregnant. I will tell you over and over that I have
ZERO patience. That applies to every
aspect of my life. I started taking home
pregnancy tests long before I should have and finally was able to see a faint
line. I bought a digital test and saw
that magical word, “PREGNANT.” But within days, I was bleeding. First just a little, then more, then
more. I called the office one morning
early and the Dr. called me back. I told
him I was bleeding and the nurse told me to call if it got worse. He told me not to call him back “unless you
feel like you are bleeding to death.” I
was taken aback. I thought dr’s were
supposed to be compassionate with this sort of thing. I called Jacob’s aunt because she’s a
nurse. When she found out who my dr. was
she made me an appt with her ob/gyn immediately. She had worked with my current dr in a
hospital setting and had seen him to less than favorable things.
By the time I had my
appointment with the new Dr, I had already spent more time in the ER and lost
the baby. It was heartbreaking to go to
that first appt and have to explain to them that I was no longer pregnant. But I loved the dr. I loved her bedside manner, and I loved the
fact that she didn’t write me off. She
started making plans. Scheduling more
tests, deciding what we should do next.
You’ll have to forgive me because I don’t remember exactly what
happened, and since I wasn’t blogging then I don’t have the greatest
records. I know we did a lot of
bloodwork. That’s when she found out
that I was in fact insulin resistant. It’s
one of the symptoms of PCOS, so there wasn’t any shock there. She started me on a medication called
Metformin. It’s usually something that
people with diabetes take. But, it helps
stabilize your blood sugar, which has a profound impact on ovulation. We also did more ultrasounds to look and see
how bad the cysts actually were. The
next step was to do more clomid. Once
again I don’t remember the exact protocol we did, and which cycles worked and
which ones didn’t. But eventually I
became pregnant once again.
Before my blood work to
confirm pregnancy I had already taken a home pregnancy test and seen that magic
P word. But when the nurse called me to
tell me the results of my bloodwork she was shocked that I had gotten a
positive home test. She said my test
results shouldn’t have been high enough at the time I tested to get a positive
result. They ordered more blood work 24
hours later. The numbers were climbing,
but not fast enough. They weren’t even
high enough to be able to see anything on ultrasound. My dr personally called me at home one night
after hours to tell me that there wasn’t anything we could do. We just had to sit and wait to see what
happened. She hadn’t given up hope
completely, but the outcome probably wasn’t going to be good. She was right. Eventually the bleeding became too much and I
lost the baby.
We decided to take a break
from trying to conceive. The tolls
infertility takes on your marriage are extreme.
As a woman you feel like a failure as a wife. I mean, one of the reasons a man gets
married, is to continue his name. When
you can’t give your husband that, it isn’t pretty. Jacob never made me feel like a failure. It’s just the personal standards I had set
for myself. We notified my dr that we
would be taking a break for a while, just to get grounded again and decide what
our next step would be. One of the last
things she told me was to be careful.
Because the metformin can stabilize your blood sugar enough that you can
ovulate on your own. I kind of laughed
to myself, because I knew that wasn’t going to happen. But it did!
One day I got the urge to
take a test. I still had some stashed in
the bathroom, and Jacob was out with his brother for the night, so I took a
test. It immediately turned positive and
I thought the test must be broken, so I took another one, and the same thing
happened. I couldn’t believe it! I called my dr the next day and she ordered
bloodwork to confirm. In the back of my
mind I was still very concerned, because I had never had good bloodwork
results. But when they called me back I
was in awe. It was a number so high that
I couldn’t believe it! Our Lexi Rosemay
was born on May 3, 2009 and she is truly our miracle!
After Lexi we knew we wanted
more kids, but we weren’t going to rush anything. I was out of work for a while after I had
Lexi, so that meant I was without insurance.
In January 2012 we were preparing to move into our first home that we
had purchased. I had a job with
insurance and even though we hadn’t talked about it, I think we both knew that “the
talk” about when to start trying would be coming up soon. On February 14 I
stopped on my way home from work and bought a dollar store pregnancy test. I just hadn’t been feeling completely right
lately, and even though I knew it was a long shot, I still wanted to test. Once again, a super fast, super dark
positive. WHAT?!? Because of PCOS I hadn’t even had a period
since November. I immediately started
googling things. And come to find out…you
can ovulate without having a period.
Scheduled an appointment with my ob/gyn, who I hadn’t seen since my
follow up after I had Lexi. She was
amazed. I am still amazed. Our Rex Allen is due October 1, 2012. He is our second miracle.
I have a lot of guilt about
getting pregnant miraculously 2 times when I have so many deserving friends who
are doing all kinds of treatments, and still can’t get pregnant. But I have to push it aside. I know I was chosen by God to be the mother
to these 2 babies. They are my miracles. They give my life meaning. I love them with my whole heart and then
some.
Am I still worried about PCOS? Yes.
We know after Rex is born, we are done having kids. Since we got married, we always knew we
wanted 2. Now we have to decide how to
prevent pregnancy…something we haven’t done for several several years. I don’t want to be tied down to taking a
birth control pill every day for the rest of my life. Jacob is completely willing to do his
part. But, even if he does that I will
still have to do something or else my cycles will be completely out of sorts
because of PCOS. I’m too young to have a
hysterectomy. I know my dr. won’t do
it. And I’ve read some articles that
state even if you have a hysterectomy all of your symptoms of PCOS won’t go
away. I could still suffer from the
weight gain, acne, excess facial hair. I
still have lots of research to do before I decide what’s best for me.
I do know that this isn’t
the end of the road for me as far as talking about PCOS. PCOS changed who I am. And I will never stop advocating. I will never stop offering advice. I will never stop reading about it. And until my baby girl has kids of her own, I
will never stop worrying that it is something I have passed on to her. Please know your body. Please ask questions. If there is anything I can do for you, please
don’t be afraid to contact me!
Danielle.brigance@live.com
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Letters to Alexia
I know she just had a whole blog devoted to her, but I feel like I should share her formal letter that is in her book.
Lexi-
You are so big and smart! You come home every day and ask to do schoolwork with Daddy. You have started tracing lines and shapes. Hopefully we can get you writing your name soon.
You love to play games on Daddy's I-Pad and read stories on Mommy's Kindle.
You love to go to Miss Bethany's house every day and play with Brayden. We still aren't decided on if he's your boyfriend or your best friend (wink.) Yesterday you saw me crying and you automatically burst into tears. You have such a sweet soul. You remind me so much of my own heart.
You ask me about Rex all the time and you tell everyone that his name is baby Rex Allen. You love to kiss my belly and talk to him. You were laying on my belly and Rex kicked your back. I don't know what you thought had happened. I can't even begin to explain to you how much we love you.
I love to see your experience life with your whole family. You still aren't sure about Pa (Claude) but we are trying to get you to not say that you don't like him. You are scared of him because he is loud and gets in your face. But Lexi - he loves you more than life. All you girls make his world.
You love to stay all night with Nanny and Poppy - and make Poppy sleep on the couch.
Nanny lets you do whatever you want pretty much.
You also love to go to Aunt Lisa's because she takes you to the library and lots of fun places.
You have been swimming with Daddy and Aunt Twila this summer and you really love that.
Our favorite Mommy and Lexi time is having slumber parties in the big bed. We love to snuggle up, watch cartoons, and read stories until we fall asleep. Then mommy takes lots of pictures of you and steals lots of kisses.
We love you so much!
Love Mommy!
Lexi-
You are so big and smart! You come home every day and ask to do schoolwork with Daddy. You have started tracing lines and shapes. Hopefully we can get you writing your name soon.
You love to play games on Daddy's I-Pad and read stories on Mommy's Kindle.
You love to go to Miss Bethany's house every day and play with Brayden. We still aren't decided on if he's your boyfriend or your best friend (wink.) Yesterday you saw me crying and you automatically burst into tears. You have such a sweet soul. You remind me so much of my own heart.
You ask me about Rex all the time and you tell everyone that his name is baby Rex Allen. You love to kiss my belly and talk to him. You were laying on my belly and Rex kicked your back. I don't know what you thought had happened. I can't even begin to explain to you how much we love you.
I love to see your experience life with your whole family. You still aren't sure about Pa (Claude) but we are trying to get you to not say that you don't like him. You are scared of him because he is loud and gets in your face. But Lexi - he loves you more than life. All you girls make his world.
You love to stay all night with Nanny and Poppy - and make Poppy sleep on the couch.
Nanny lets you do whatever you want pretty much.
You also love to go to Aunt Lisa's because she takes you to the library and lots of fun places.
You have been swimming with Daddy and Aunt Twila this summer and you really love that.
Our favorite Mommy and Lexi time is having slumber parties in the big bed. We love to snuggle up, watch cartoons, and read stories until we fall asleep. Then mommy takes lots of pictures of you and steals lots of kisses.
We love you so much!
Love Mommy!
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