Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Proverbs 31 Wife - Verse 12

Proverbs 31:12 – She comforts, encourages, and does only good as long as there is life within her.

Wow!  As soon as I read that verse, I automatically started thinking of all the times (today) I have been less than that as a wife. 

The original Hebrew meaning of the word “good” is best, graciously, joyful, kindness, loving, merry, pleasant, ready, and sweet.

I’m sure God understands that we all have our moments, and we aren’t going to be all of those things, 24 hours a day.  But we have to realize that we are called, by God, to be those things.  When we do those things (for our husbands) we are pleasing to the Lord.

Once again, this doesn’t have to be only big moments.  Your “good” can be in the small things you do for your husband.  Like packing his lunch, or ironing his clothes. 

We are not only called to do good for our husbands, we are called to do them with gladness.  It defeats the purpose if you grumble and complain through your gracious tasks. 

The book goes into great detail about this verse.  Breaking down each of the definitions of good, and examples of ways you can do this.  Once again, I highly recommend purchasing a copy of the book for yourself.

Some of the tasks are hard.  But we have to realize that they are only hard to the flesh.  “Dying to the flesh can be painful and hard.” The world we live in makes this even harder.  Everywhere you turn, you can find women complaining about their husbands.  Don’t buy into this.  Don’t use it as an opportunity to share your husband’s faults.  Would you appreciate it if he was talking to his friends about you that way?  We have to constantly pour ourselves into the Word, to negate the images society is pushing on us.  In just the 3 verses we have looked at so far, we have seen how completely opposite they are from the worldly view. 

Pray for God to help you be a gracious, loving, joyful, merry, pleasant, ready, and sweet wife.  Pray for God to show you ways you can be a blessing to your husband.


Tomorrow’s verse:

Proverbs 31:13 – She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands to develop it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Happy Birthday Grandma!!

We took this picture last March.  My sisters and I drove up to Enid, to visit Grandma in her nursing home.  I didn't know this would be the last picture we took with her. 
See, she was only in this nursing home because Alzheimer's and dementia had stolen her.  She was in relatively good health for an 89 year old.  But she would forget things.  She would forget to take her medicine, or sometimes she would forget that she was boiling water on the stove.  And with the stories on the news about elderly people wandering away from home.... our family made the very difficult decision to put her in a home.  I wish I could say that she liked it there, but she really didn't.  She went from living on her own for more than 10 years, to now having a roommate.  And having nurses fussing over her all the time. 
It was a long drive up there that day, but we stopped and got her some chicken strips from Arby's.  She was already in the cafeteria when we got there.  Sitting and eating with another gentleman.  He was so sweet.  She seemed really good that day.  I'm thankful that I never witnessed her having a really bad day. The days where she tried to hit and kick not only the nurses and doctors, but her own family.  She couldn't understand what was going on.  She couldn't understand why we were "locking her up.". But that day was good.  She got us desserts from the cafeteria.  Told me not to get onto Lexi for playing the piano.  She showed Lexi the little birds they have.  And she showed us her room.  We brought her some of her favorite snacks.  And then we left.  In my head I can see her standing there at the doors as they closed and we walked away.    Just a couple months later, we lost her.  She had a massive stroke and heart attack.  She needed surgery, but we knew she wouldn't survive it.  So the doctors helped her hold on long enough for family to get there to be with her as she passed. 

She would have been 90 today.  I know we would have planned a huge party and invited lots of her family that she doesn't get to see much.  I know she would have smiled and laughed.... and sighed when the kids got too loud. 

I miss her.  More than I ever thought I could miss someone.  And my selfishness is so angry that Rex and Lexi won't have memories with her.  All I can do is tell them stories about her and Papa, and let them live on through that. 

Grandma, I'm so glad you're in heaven now.  I'm happy that you have all your memories back.  I'm happy that you are once again at Papa's side.  And that you can hold your grandchildren once again.  And that you can hold the babies I lost too soon.  But I still wish you were here.  I miss you.  I miss you telling me to smile more.  I miss you telling me to stop pulling my hair so it won't fall out.  I miss driving in your car on the way from Cherokee to Beggs.  I miss sleeping on the couch so you can have my bed.  I miss that sigh you did when everyone was too loud.  I miss how you hated sports and got so frustrated when everyone was crowded around the TV.  I miss how much you loved babies.  You would be in love with Rex and Mattie right now.  You would be so excited to have Lexi read to you.  I just miss you.

Happy Birthday Grandma!  I hope you had a spectacular birthday in Heaven today.  I bet it was amazing.

Proverbs 31 Wife - Verse 11

Proverbs 31:11 – The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of honest gain or need of dishonest spoil.
What does it mean for our husbands to trust in us confidently?  Let’s look at those words.  Trust: have faith in.  Be certain of. Rely on. Depend upon. Count upon. Place in the hands of. Accept.  Look to.  I don’t know about you, but if we replace the word trust in that sentence, with some of the definitions…it could be a hard pill to swallow.  I’m sure some of them are no big deal.  Yes, I believe my husband has faith in me, relies on me, depends on me.  But when it comes to “Place in the hands of” that’s kind of a big deal.  Is he able to do that?  Am I “enough” that he feels he can place something in my hands and know that it’s taken care of?  And if he trusts me, that means I’m trustworthy.  “To be a wife that pleases the Lord, our husbands must be able to trust us.”  With the big things, and the small things.  We may not oversee the whole budget, but if we have a spending limit at the grocery store, he trusts us to follow it.  If we are truly trustworthy, our husband’s burdens will be lighter. 
Remember to thank God for the husband He provided for you.  Pray that you are trustworthy to your husband, so that he will lack for nothing and have no need for dishonest gain. 
Tomorrow’s verse:
Proverbs 31:12 – She comforts, encourages, and does only good as long as there is life within her.


Sunday, March 23, 2014

Proverbs 31 Wife - Verse 10

Proverbs 31:10 – A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman-who is he who can find her?  She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

When I read that verse, it feels like God was speaking about me.  That is how God feels about us.  That we are all more precious than jewels.

The study guide asks us to take the word virtuous and look up the original Hebrew meaning.  The original Hebrew word is Chayil.  Chayil means: a force, an army, strength, able, substance, worthy.

If you put one of those words in place of virtuous (and the definition we use today) it changes the verse completely.  We should still be virtuous in the way we use it today, but we also need to be women of substance, women who are able, worthy, strong, capable, and intelligent. Can you imagine how lucky your husband would feel if you were all of those things?  I know we’re not going to get there overnight.  But hopefully through this study we can get to the point where we are most of those things, most of the days.

Now we need to look at a virtuous woman in the Bible.  An example we should all live by.  Ruth.

Proverbs 31:10 is describing a woman like Ruth.  Ruth was a strong and capable woman.  You can read the book of Ruth on your own if you want to learn more about her.

Ruth was a woman of substance. 

And now, my daughter, fear not.  I will do for you all you require, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of strength, worth, bravery, and capability.  Ruth 3:11

So our first task is to look at what makes us virtuous women (new translation and old), and try to implement it in our daily lives.

Tomorrow’s verse is:

Proverbs 31:11 – The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of honest gain or need of dishonest spoil.


danielle b

Friday, March 21, 2014

Proverbs 31 Wife - Introduction

A couple months ago while browsing pinterest, I kept coming across pins about the “Proverbs 31 Wife.)  I found myself wanting/needing to know more about this.  As I have been feeling like I’m lacking in the “good wife” department.  I ordered the ebook through amazon.  I have picked it up a few times and read a few chapters.  But I thought it would be great if I could get some ladies together to read it with me.  That way it could help keep me accountable. 

Right now the ebook is $2.99…that’s a steal!

So, I’m going to go through a little bit of the introduction tonight and then I will try to post daily about the chapter I read.

Sound good?

Proverbs 31 is written as advice which Lemuel’s mother gave to him, about how a virtuous king should reign, and details the attributes of a virtuous wife or ideal woman. The second section of this chapter directs women to be industrious and fear the Lord

In Malachi 2:16 God tells us that He hates divorce and marital separation.  He designed marriage to be two separate individuals becoming one, and remain strong in Him.

In Ephesians 5:20-33 He gives us specific instructions on how to have a happy marriage.

The problem is that we allow our flesh to get in the way.

Genesis 2:18—Now the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet suitable, adapted, and complementary for him.

Help meet translates to mean surround, protect, or aid.  Women are called by God to be an aid to man.  To surround and protect them.  This goes against everything women stand for today.  We want our own freedoms.  But we have to understand that God doesn’t change.  He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  His rules have not adapted.  We are called to be help meets no matter the situation.

We should feel blessed to have this role.  God created ME specifically to be the help meet for MY HUSBAND!!  How awesome is that?!  He created ME for HIM before we had even met, before we were even born!

Tomorrow’s verse will be Proverbs 31:10- A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman-who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

I hope you will join me in the journey to become a better wife.


                                                             danielle b

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Letters to Rex

Rex Allen,

What an amazing little boy you are!  It seems like you learn something new every day.  I can't believe you are 18 months old now!  You are so different from your sister when she was a baby.  Lexi just sat in one spot and played.  Not you!  You are going and going from the time you wake up in the morning, until the time you go to bed at night. I think I've said "NO" more times in the last 2 months, than I have said it in my whole life.  As they are ALL boy!

One of your most favorite things to do is wrestle with your sissy.  I have to watch you though, because you can really tackle her. 

Today we learned that you like grapes.  Yum! 

This week you learned how to say "Bethy". - Bethany
You can say please and thank you, but try to get away with not saying it, and just giving me your cute little grin.  That grin is going to get you in trouble boy! 

You love looking out the windows.  You wave to all the cars that drive by.  I don't know if anyone ever notices you... but you are darn cute!

Last weekend you got to see your "Papa.". I was so surprised when you started calling Poppy Red that.  Generally we call him Poppy, and then call Papa James, Papa.  But I guess you are going to be different.  I'm sure he doesn't care what you call him, as long as you love him. 

I love you with my whole heart!!


Letters to Lexi - March 2014

Lexi Rosemay,

I can't even begin to tell you how special you are to me.  You are my biggest fan, my nurse, my little princess.  You are everything I ever dreamed a daughter could be... and more!  I hope you always know that.

You have started your first year of tball.  It is very exciting!  So far we haven't had any games, only practices.  But you are doing so great.  I am more proud of you with every practice.  Tuesday you got hit with the ball.  I was so proud of you.  You didn't run to me until your coach asked you if you wanted to.  You cried.  Did you know that Mommy wanted to cry?  It was so hard for me to not run on that field and scoop you up.  You are so brave and strong.  I was afraid that you would be scared to go to practice today.  But you weren't.  And Daddy said you did so good.  He showed me the videos of you hitting. 

Your personality gets bigger every day.  You go from being a princess to being a tomboy all in the span of a few minutes.  You like to get dressed up, but you also like to wrestle with your brother. 

You are doing so great in school.  You usually have your 4 pages of homework done on Monday night.  You seem to love your teacher and all your friends.  And you are starting to read!!  I can't even begin to tell you how proud that makes me.  People have always said, since you were a little baby, that you are so smart.  And now is your time to shine. 

You have been on spring break this week.  And you have loved spending time with Daddy and Bubba all day.  You guys have done lots of fun stuff.  I hope you are making lots of good memories to look back on one day.

I can't believe in a couple short months, you will be 5 years old!  I can still remember seeing you for the first time after you were born.  You were so tiny!  We didn't really have any clothes that would fit you.  We had to roll all your pants up.  But you have caught up now, and it seems I can't keep up with buying pants that are long enough for you.

You will always be my baby girl.  I love you so much!!


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

health updates

I wish I had some awesome update to post... but I don't.

The only thing I really have an update on is my mental health... which isn't good.
I went to the Dr last week to talk about increasing my dosage of Effexor.  I didn't know that I was already taking the highest outpatient dose.  So I had a couple options.  The PA really wanted me to come off Effexor and start taking Cymbalta.  But the withdrawals from Effexor are so bad that I can't even miss one pill, so I asked for another option.  She offered me the chance to try adding Wellbutrin on top of the Effexor and see if that helps.  So I'm going to try that for a while.  I've been on it about a week, and so far I can't tell any difference... but it can take a couple weeks to fully get into your system. 
Depression is hard.  It literally sucks the life out of you.  Normally when you're going through something tough you can focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, but with depression, you are in the dark.  There is no light at the end of the tunnel.  It's rough to hear people say things like "just be happy.". Well, I really would if I could.  Because seriously... no one would choose to feel like this. 
Another thing people don't understand is that I've been dealing with depression for about 10 years now.  So, I'm really good at faking it.  I can act "fine" with the best of them.  It isn't until I fall in bed at night that I realize how exhausted I am from "acting" ok. 

I say all that to say this.  If you have someone in your life is who chronically depressed... Be there for them.  Don't judge them.  Love them.  Allow them time to themselves.  Allow them to feel blue.  Make sure they are getting the help they need... going to the Dr, taking their medication, talk therapy if necessary.  I'm not saying just let them be depressed, but if they are doing what they can to fix the problem... then it's probably going to take time to work through it.

The other update is on Botox.  In January I had my second round of Botox injections for migraines.  It has helped so much!  This time I did get a "Botox migraine" the day after the injections... and it lasted about a week.  I was discouraged at first because that didn't happen the first time.  But after that wore off, I have been feeling really good.I went from missing at least 1 day per week, to most weeks not missing any.  In the month of February I missed 1 day.  That was unheard of for me.  I expect the effects to start wearing off soon, because that tends to happen.  But I'm due in April to go back again.  Anyone I come across who struggles with migraines, I have suggested Botox to them.  It hurts... really bad... but it's so much better to not have a migraine every single day!

Hopefully I will have more frequent updates now that the keyboard to my tablet came in.
Lexi started tball and will turn 5 in May.
Red Allen is 18 months old and literally into everything.