Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My views on equal rights

As most of you probably experienced, the majority of facebook users were up in arms yesterday.  People were changing their profile pictures to a red equals sign to show their support of equal rights. 
I am one of those people who changed my profile picture.  Instead of trying to post everything I believe to a facebook status, or several tweets, I decided I would just blog about it.  So here goes.  These are just my thoughts.

Do I believe that homosexuality is a sin?  Yes I do.  I believe that it is clearly pointed out in the Bible. But so are many other things.  We all sin every single day.  And we are forgiven.  We commit sins that we know are sins, and we are forgiven. Does that mean it's ok to sin?  No, absolutely not.  Does it mean that people with specific sins shouldn't have rights equal to people who commit other sins?  Absolutely not!

In a comment I read yesterday it was brought up that if you "love the sinner, hate the sin" you are actually telling them it's ok to commit the sin, therefore leading them to keep doing it.  I don't believe that to be true.  I think we can love the sinner, hate the sin and still have that person know that we truly with our whole heart believe that what they are doing is wrong.

In the Bible it tells us that divorce is a sin.  Do we let divorced people get re-married?
In the Bible it tells us that pre-marital sex is a sin.  Do we still let people who have had pre-marital sex get married?
For that matter, lying, cheating, stealing....all sins.  All people who can get married.

So saying all that....I still don't understand where it became the governments place to dictate who can and cannot get married.  Because from our very own Constitution we are allowed the seperation of church and state.  So, do we just ignore that while we're making our Christian laws?  I don't believe that's ok. Our country was formed with the basis of religious freedom.  That's why people started immigrating here.  So how now can we take that religious freedom away?  And don't say that it's not being taken away, because it is.  Religious freedom is being taken away when laws are made based on Christianity. That's NOT what our country was founded on.

I have also heard that when someone says that the church has no place in government they are just being complacent, not trying to change the world, and not trying to spread the word of God.  Obviously I don't believe that either.  I believe that you can be a Christian, a good Christian, without believing that the government has to be be run with Christian laws. 

The biggest thing I have to say in all of this, is that spreading HATE is definitely not going to get you anywhere in my book.  I have not had anything mean said to me, but I have seen on other pages where people are being blasted for their beliefs.  That is not ok.  It's not ok for non-Christians to do it, and it certainly isn't ok for Christians to do it.  Your choices are not for me to judge.  There is but one judge that we all have to answer to, and it certainly isn't someone on facebook or twitter!

Friday, March 22, 2013

What it's like...

Warning:  You are all (ok, the 4 people who might read this) invited to my own personal pity party.  Feel free to leave if you want to.

It has become painfully obvious to me that I'm just not good enough for some people.  I put on a good front though.  I say it doesn't bother me.  Screw them if they don't like me.  It's their loss.  But that's not really how I feel. I will lay awake for hours thinking about it.  I will cry myself to sleep over it. And then I'll get up tomorrow and start all over again.

You see, I was never a popular kid.  Sure I had friends.  I played sports, was in band, did lots of activities.  But I just wasn't it.  We weren't rich.  We weren't what I would call poor, and my mom busted her butt to give us everything we wanted.  But you know those kids that have everything they want and more?  Yeah, I wasn't one of them.  Don't get me wrong....I don't exactly want to be one of them.  But why couldn't I be friends with them?  I'm nice.  I have a good heart.  I think I'm funny.  I'm smart.  But, it's still not enough.

Skip ahead a few years into adulthood, and it doesn't get any better.  Actually it gets worse.  At least when you have school activities you feel like you fit in....even if those people are forced to hang out with you.  When you're an adult....that's not the case.

Sure I have friends at work.  We're there 40+ hrs a week together and we all get along.  We go to lunch, and crack jokes.  We might even occassionally text outside of work.

I have facebook friends...most of them family, or people I went to school with. 

I have twitter friends.  I'm not even sure if that could be considered friends though.  Because out of the 400 some odd people that I "follow" I probably only get feedback from a handful of them....and most of the ones who do talk to me are family.

I have some infertility message board friends, also known as the NDB's that are scattered across the United States.  They are pretty much family.  I can tell them anything.  And I could call them anytime I needed to chat.  But they aren't close enough to hang out.

So that leaves real life, we could hang out, I could call you anytime and you would be there, friends.  Let's count them up......0.......
That's it.  None.  There's not a single person (outside of family) that I feel like I could call and ask to hang out and they would do it.  There's not anyone that I feel like I could call in the middle of the night and they would be there.

Why is that?  Why can't I have friends?  Obviously it has something to do with me. 
But I wish someone would just be honest, and tell me what it is about me that is so unlikeable.

I have a dry sense of humor.  My husband gets it.  He laughs at me.  But he's about the only one.  I just get weird stares from other people. 

I have my guard up.  Because I already know that I won't fit in, why let anyone get close enough to let me down? 

Let's just say I have issues. 

I don't know where I'm even going with this post.  But I felt like I had to get it out there somewhere. 

Thanks for reading.  And I promise that my next post will be more upbeat. :)

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Ten on Tuesday 3/19/13

1.  Do you snore? I think sometimes I do.

2.  What do you think of Reality TV?  I enjoy it, as long as I don't feel like it's too scripted.  Hell's Kitchen is back on and I really like that show.  We watch Chopped.  Sometimes Amazing Race.

3.  Do you sing in the shower?  No.  But I read an article yesterday about how people who sing in the shower are generally happier than people who don't.

4.  Have you ever bungee jumped?  No, but I used to want to do it so bad.  Now that I have kids I have different priorities.  But it's still something that given the opportunity I think I would do.

5.  Have you ever been on an airplane?  No.  But I definitely want to fly!

6.  Do you cry at weddings?  Generally yes.  I just get so wrapped up in all the emotion and love that is present at the time. 

7.  Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?  Yes.  Once when I had a car wreck, and once when I was transported from a small hospital to a larger hospital.  Neither time was with lights and sirens though. :)

8.  Do you like your handwriting?  Yes I do.

9.  Can you sing the alphabet backwards?  I don't think I can sing it backwards, but I think I can say it backwards.

10.  When was the last time you said I love you?  This morning I called Jacob when I got to work to tell him that I left my phone at home.  We said I love you at the end of the conversation.

Feel free to answer these questions on your blog, or pick 10 questions of your own!!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Letters to Rex 3/11/13

Rex Allen,

You turned 6 months old last week.  Where has the time gone?  Didn't I just bring you home from the hospital?!

Granny took you to get your shots.  You did great when you went back to school, but that evening and most of the next day you were fussy with a fever.  Your Sissy saw your bandaids and felt so sorry for you.  She kissed and loved on you telling you she was sorry you had to get shots.  She loves you so much!

Let's could sit up on your own if you wanted to.  But you don't really want to, lol!  Every time we try to sit you up, you just bend over to chew on your toes.  Man do you love those toes.

You must be having a growth spurt because you have been waking up in the early morning the past few days, to eat.  You go back to sleep afterwards, so that's good. 

You can definitely roll from front to back and back to front.  You don't spend a lot of time on the floor because Mommy loves to cuddle you!  But I know you and your friend Jack play at school. 

My favorite times with you is at night when we are doing our bedtime routine.  You are so sweet and cuddly.  After you drink your bottle I turn you over to pat you.  You always grab ahold of my shirt, and either just hold it there, or chew on it, as you're falling asleep. 

You love bath time.  You especially love it, if you are taking a bath with Lexi.  You are getting too big for your baby bathtub, but we have a dilema since you don't want to sit up yet.  You love to kick your leg and splash me.  And even when you're in the bath, you're still trying to eat your toes.  Silly boy.

I love to peek in your door at night and listen to you snoring.  Boy can you snore!  You have the sweetest smile, and you are always sharing it with people.  No matter where we go, everyone comments on how great of a smile you have.  I hope you always share your smile with people. 

I love you bunches and bunches!



Letters to Lexi 3/11/13

Lexi Rosemay,

Do you know how much I love you?  I hope you never wonder.  I hope you go to bed at night and have sweet dreams knowing how loved you truly are.

You are the sweetest girl I've ever met.  And I'm not just saying that.  You have the kindest heart.  If someone else is hurt, you hurt for them.  You hated it when you saw Bubba's bandaids the other day when he got shots.  You asked me if they hurt.  I told you that they probably did.  You just kissed him and talked to him and told him you were sorry he had to get shots.

I love to see your smiling face come walking into the bedroom in the morning.  Most mornings I'm awake and getting ready for work.  You come in and stand and watch me. 

Do you know how much I hate to leave you to go to work?  On the rare occassion when you get upset when I leave, it breaks my heart.  But I know you have fun with your friends at school.

You get so excited when I get home from work.  Always telling me, "I'm so glad you're here."

I was worried that you would not understand having a baby in the house.  But you do.  You get it.  You are such a big helper!

Do you know that I come in and watch you sleep?  I come in and kiss your cheeks, cover you up, and smile.  You are like an angel when you sleep. 

You're almost 4 and I can't believe it!

I found some of your school work last night.  You had written your name, and then written MOM and DAD.  I couldn't believe it!  You are just so smart.  Your teachers next year are going to have a handful with you!

You sing and talk all day long.  It amazes me.  You can turn anything into a song.  And you are starting to figure out how to make things rhyme.  Sometimes the words don't make sense, but you are rhyming!

I love you so much big girl!



Thursday, March 7, 2013

Thankful Thursday - 3/7/13

Thursday again?!?  Time flies, seriously.

This week I am thankful for:

  • My church.  We have recently found a great church that we really love.  We love it so much that last night we talked to the Pastor about becoming members.  So, sometime this month we will take that plunge (literally.)
  • My job.  I absolutely love the people I work with.  They make the workday so much more enjoyable.
  • Talking babies.  Rex said his first word this week: "dada" of course.  Since I wanted him to say Mama so bad.  But since the first night he said it and we made a huge deal about it, he hasn't stopped saying it since then.  And it's not all just babbling.  Jacob talked to him and then walked out of the room and he craned his head back and said "da da."  It was so cute.
Overall this has been a really great week.  I finally made it to a Wednesday night church service last night.  I was really exhausted from not sleeping well, but I felt really great once I was there.  It's amazing how God works.

I hope everyone is having a great week!

Don't forget to head over to Baby Gators Den and link up your Thankful Thursday post!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Ten on Tuesday 3/5/13

I'm starting something new to try to get me to blog more.
Ten on Tuesday

 1.  Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?
      Closed.  Because I will no doubt wake up in the middle of the night and not remember if I left it open or if there's a creeper in there.

2.  Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?
     Yes.  In my opinion they are free for the taking, lol!

3.  Where is your next vacation?
     I have a girls weekend planned at the end of June.  We are going to Lake Conroe, Texas.

4.  Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
     No, but that would be interesting!

5.  Who do you think reads your blog?
      My mom, my sisters, my husband, and maybe an occassional friend.  Not very many people!

6.  Do you have a calendar in your room?
     No.  The last time I had a calendar in my room was when we were ttc Lexi.

7.  Where are you?

8.  Are you reading any books right now?
     Not besides my daily Bible Study.  I've been addicted to Netflix recently, so I've been doing that instead of reading.

9.  When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
     About a month ago I sent my Grandma a picture of the kids and I included a little letter.

10.  What is your usual bedtime?
       This is going to get me made fun of, but I don't care.  I go to bed as soon as the kids go to bed.  I try to get Rex to sleep around 7:30, and Lexi around 8.  So I go take my medicine and go to bed.  I usually watch netflix until at least 10 though because it takes me forever to fall asleep.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Life happens

It's been forever and a day since I've blogged.  Forever and a day, ha...remember when everyone used to say that?!

So what's been going on?

Just life.  I sit back and wonder what has happened since I have blogged last.  But it's nothing special.  Nothing extraordinary.  Just life.

Lexi has another ear infection.  This time it hit her pretty hard.  She woke up screaming in the middle of the night that her ear hurt.  We gave her ibuprofen and told her we would call the dr. in the morning.  The screaming lasted for about an hour before she fell back asleep.  Got her in, and sure enough, ear infection.  I am thankful that she is old enough now to tell us exactly what hurts!  No more trying to guess what's going on.  She got the magic pink medicine, and I thought she would be back to normal in a day or two, as usual.  But this time she complained about her ear hurting for quite a few days.  I think she's finally on the mend.  She still has a couple more days of antibiotics....what I didn't spill on the floor...geesh!

Rex is amazing.  I'm so glad he's a happy baby!  I don't know what I would do if his colic had stuck around for any longer than it did.  I think back to when Lexi was his age and we were still up at all hours of the night with her, trying to get her to sleep.  Not this one.  He usually falls asleep around 7:30, and wakes up sometime around 6:30 in the morning.  There are occassional mornings, like today, where he was still asleep when I left the house at ten 'til 7!! 
He has started eating some baby food.  He is still perfecting the ability to swallow everything that goes in his mouth.  He definitely does better if it is thicker.  But so far we have tried sweet potatoes and peaches.  He likes them both, but I think he likes the sweet potatoes better.
We learned last night that if he really wants to, he can roll back to belly, back to belly.  But, he has to really want to.  He's a lazy boy.  And spoiled....very spoiled.  You see, he spends most of his time being held.  But what can I say...he's my last baby.  He deserves to be spoiled a little, don't you think?! 

My house is suffering.  I get home at 6, shower, hold Rex, feed Rex, put Rex to bed...and then I fall into bed to watch netflix.  I'm lazy...I'll admit it.  My house is very, shall we say lived in.  I struggle to just keep things picked up and put away.  Not to mention dusting or vacuuming.  And don't even open the door to the spare room, lest I have a panic attack.  I'm ready to back a truck up to the window and toss everything out.  Oh well...I'll get to it one day.

I'm currently starting a new anti-depressant, per the headache dr.  I was taking Celexa, and had just increased my dosage in January.  I didn't put 2 and 2 together that after I did that, my migraines started getting worse.  I guess Celexa is notorious for causing headaches.  So I had to taper off of that and start something new.  It wasn't really a great time in my life to start tapering off an anti-depressant, but it's what I had to do.  I have definitely felt the effects of it, but I'm trying to power through.

My weight is out of control, and I'm trying to make small changes.  But small changes don't make anything happen fast, and of course I want it to happen right now. happens.